General Stonewall Jackson
Southern Confidence cannot be shaken…
President O was in the “O”val Office when his telephone rang. "Hello, President O" a heavily accented southern voice said. "This is Jimmy Boy, down here at Bump's Catfish Shack, in Vicksburg , and I’m callin' to tell ya'll that we are officially declaring war on y'all!"
"Well Jimmy Boy," O replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?"
"Right now," said Jimmy Boy, after a moments calculation "there is myself, my cousin Tom, my next-door-neighbor and brother Gerald, and the whole dart team from JD's Bait Shop. That makes eight or maybe nine depending if Bump can close the store.
O paused. "I must tell you Jimmy Boy that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command."
"Wow," said Jimmy Boy. "I'll have to call ya back!"
Sure enough, the next day, Jimmy Boy called again. "Mr. O, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"
"And what equipment would that be Jimmy Boy?" Barack asked.
"Well sir, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and my brother Mike's farm tractor."
President O sighed. "I must tell you Jimmy Boy, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also I've increased my army to one and a half million since we last spoke."
"Lord above", said Jimmy Boy, "I'll be getting back to ya."
Sure enough, Jimmy Boy called again the next day. "President O! I am sorry to have to tell you that we have had to call off this here war."
"I'm sorry to hear that" said O. "Why the sudden change of heart?"
Well, sir," said Jimmy Boy, "we've all sat ourselves down and had a long chat over sweet tea, catfish, greens and pie and come to realize that ...
THERE’S JUST NO WAY WE CAN FEED THAT MANY PRISONERS.”
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