Mexico City burns, the rise of an American Empire.

Day 473, 17:34 Published in USA Canada by Emperor Rick

The Central Highlands, Mexico City, has fell to US forces in another glorious battle.

The Mexican War now folds to its final chapters, We've conquered Baja, the NorthWest and NorthEast despite minor setbacks (the geographic error). Mexico took advantage of the error and reinforced its borders with MDPs with Hungary, Chile, Argentina, Switzerland, and the Netherlands... There has even been reports of fighters from the UK moving to Mexico to fight against us, yet... we've managed to pull another victory with great ease. Proving to the world that the US is not only able to win battles, but win wars.

The Western Hemisphere will fall to US dominance the same way Europe has to Romania and Asia to Indonesia.


What now though? We've been told by officials that any further conquest (other then the original 3 ) is not permanent, but rather a bargaining piece for a peaceful resolution threw negotiations. The ball is in Mexico's court though to whether they are willing to sue for peace. They will have to accept defeat and the loss of territory to the US. Everyday they refuse to negotiate means they will have to pay a greater price. They run the fear of our American government becoming bold with the prospect of total capitulation of Mexico.

For the sake of Mexico's future, it must surrender.




Before we begin our "State Quick Facts Edition" we need to address a problem which has been plaguing the Arizona Republic.... Quick Facts is suppose to be a satire lulz edition from Encyclopedia Dramatica. Nothing stated should be taken to heart. We have had two users bawwwwwwww about our content, and to be honest its getting old.

No one is forcing you to read our paper. If you don't like it, don't read it.
If you don't understand it, give up and become an hero.

And now for something completely different....

(DISCLAIMER: THE FOLLOWING IS A SEPARATE ISSUE ATTACHED TO THE AZ REPUBLIC -
THE QUICK FACTS EDITION IS MEANT TO BE A SATIRE ARTICLE FROM ENCYCLOPEDIA DRAMATICA, DON'T GET BUTT HURT IF YOU CAN'T STAND THE LULZ.)

Quick facts about Arkansas

Medium Iron Resources
98 Citizens (as of March 7th, 17:38, Day 473)
Q1 Hospital and Q0 Defenses
Senator: Eric Victer of the Conservative Party

Arkansas is a small state northeast of Texas. Most Arkansans are descended from a band of Neanderthals that floated to North America from Europe on a log bundle over 9,000 years ago, and survived in isolation among Native American peoples before reuniting with other white people at least 100 years ago.

As part of the Louisiana Purchase, a large number of stupid, hairy Frenchmen bred with the recent neanderthals before it became part of the United States. Although this arguably increased their intelligence beyond neanderthals, they don't want to act like they are anything more than retarded.

The legal pronunciation of Arkansas (Ark-en-saw) is a mongolation caused by the Frenchmen in Arkansas. The French Americans preferred the way it would be pronounced by a Frenchie, and since the state was part of the Louisiana Purchase, no one cared to argue. While most people would have preferred to pronounce the state ar-kan-sas, now the accepted form is ark-en-saw. This is one of the earliest examples of trolling in the United States government.

Arkansans are a hearty race, accustomed to surviving off a diet of hog fat and common weeds. A favorite pastime amongst Arkansan men is displaying their "dong" to womenfolk. Arkansan women, for their part, amuse onlookers by slinging a tit over one shoulder and squirting milk behind their back. Arkansans are unique among southerners for retaining Democratic tendencies in sizable numbers; which betrays the unusual divergence of the DNA from their more uniformly Republican neighbors.

Famous Arkansans:

* Bill Clinton - First and hopefully only black President of the United States (born Bojangles Cletus Clinton in Hope, Arkansas)
* Daniel Ortega - Nicaraguan Sandinista dictator, (born Earl Ray Fugate in Paragould, Arkansas)
* Evanescence