Mayhem Erupts!

Day 1,421, 16:52 • Published in USA USA • by Silas Soule
Apologies for the Real Life interruption into your 27-clicking, but had to share this breaking news...


Mayhem Erupts on Sesame Street


In a shocking turn of events, working-class muppet Grover took the national movement against corporate greed and political shenanigans to a new level, joining with well-known Green activists and others to occupy Sesame Street.

Mayhem erupted on the set when police moved in to arrest the protestors early this morning.


"99% of the cookies are consumed by 1% of the monsters!" -- Grover



"The only sense in which we are communists is that we care for the commons." -- Bert


The protest began during the opening credits of the popular children's Tv show. Grover, Kermit and the Snuffleupagi moved to the middle of the Street, locked arms and began chanting slogans condemning cookie hoarding and other piggy behavior on the part of "the big birds".

Reporters covering tonight's Republican Presidential debate in New Hampshire have noted that when protestors Bert and Ernie then marched onto Sesame Street waving rainbow flags and singing "It's OK to be Gay", and announced that they were occupying the occupation on behalf of National Coming Out Day, Tea Party comedian Michelle Bachman's blood pressure went off the charts and she nearly went into apoplectic heart failure. Some observers are saying she may still be too unsettled by these events to participate in tonight's debate in a rational and coherent way.

Count von Count counted at least 17 muppets who joined the protest, including the elegant and talented Meryl Sheep, who was overheard remarking to Slimey the Worm: "Remember: the problem is not corruption or greed. The problem is the system that pushes you to give up."

Count von Count was unclear on the exact number of protesters since he wasn't sure if the The Two-Headed Monster counted as one protester or two. He also admitted to some difficulty in identifying exactly how many Twiddlebugs joined in the direct action.

Not all of the well-known cast joined in the occupation. Oscar the Grouch stood by making grouchy remarks about how unkempt Grover appeared to be and arguing with Murray the Monster. In fact, the two nearly came to blows and had to be separted by Little Bird when Murray asked Oscar to "name a single country that has ever solved its economic problems through extreme austerity measures."

Miss Piggy left the Street as soon as the action began and was unavailable for comment.


It is unclear at this point if the occupation movement will continue. Messages of support have been tweeted on #OccupySesameStreet from some well-known human residents of the Street, like Edith Ann, whose message of solidarity was: "We don’t want higher standards of living. We want better standards of living." In other tweets, Mr. Handford and Willy the hot dog man both noted that their businesses have gone under and Mike reported that he's been laid off from the Fix-It Shop.


"We know that people often desire something but do not really want it. Don’t be afraid to really want what you desire." -- Lily




"There is hope! Things will get better." -- Ernie