Mashakaleaks

Day 2,644, 15:01 • Published in USA USA • by vrpanch

Good day all.

I trust everybody caught Smee’s latest article in which he burned the Admins’ latest scam to suck up gold with - er, what was it this time?






Ah, yes - Damage Accelerators. Truly the most impotent ‘feature’ in living memory. I won’t ruin the surprise - go read Smee’s article. He deserves a medal for saving every one of us a couple minutes a day for the rest of our eLives. And another medal for making the Admins look like chumps.



I said chumps, not...okay, you know what I guess that works.

The Reveal

So here’s another bug/feature to take advantage of in your quest for money, medals and glory on the battlefield.



Your country and MU’s battles are comically over fought and you’ve fulfilled your orders for the day, so with clear conscience and a heart full of greed, you start hunting for CO money. You head to the list of Military Campaigns and hot d@!n there sure are a lot to choose from here, ain’t there? While this is great news, you unfortunately no longer have access to your university’s supercomputer, due to certain indiscretions related to last year’s fabled Fappening. So now you’re facing the painful trial of opening tab after tab of memory-guzzling battle pages to peek at the CO offers therein, which is certain to trigger a migraine, and carries as well no small risk of forcing your laptop’s RAM into a series of implosions, folding in on itself incalculable times as you watch stunned and helpless until that moment when, its hyper shrinking volume now approaching a limit at pure Nothingness, your RAM at last folds itself into devouring stasis as the world’s first terrestrial black hole.



And that just wouldn’t do.

Fortunately, a local mom discovered this one weird trick:



Just hover your mouse over the number next to the CO icon. The details of CO amounts for each patron instantly appear! 100% of the time, it works every time. Sure, the info’s all in code-speak, but hey - you’re smart. You can figure it out.

Here’s to saving everyone a couple more minutes!



Oh, before I go - join Airborne. Best unit in the best MU in the eUnited States. High activity, high shenanigans, 18 Q7/day and a remarkably high tolerance for bestiality. If you’re not yet strong enough to qualify, join a less elite branch of the legendary eUS Military and work your way up here. I’ll have a cold stein of fresh ale poured and frothing for your too-sober mouth when you arrive.

o7
Lt Mashaka Kulala
PCO, Airborne 101/3



Airborne

Minimum requirement: 20,000 Strength
Application: Airborne Application
Public IRC channel: #Airborne

Funnies

This week, I would like to share 10 books that were never written:
1. How to Become Famous by Anonymous
2. How to Get Rich by Robin A. Bank
3. How to Drive a Manual Transmission by Otto Matic
4. How to be a Great Pilot by Mae Day
5. Where to Find Wildebeests By Sara N. Getti
6. Warriors of Feudal Japan by Sam A. Rye
7. Woodwind Instruments by Clara Net
8. The Human Brain by Sir E. Brum and Sara Bellum
9. Deep in Debt by Owen A. Lott
10. Confessions of a Mental Patient by Justin Sane




Click on any of the above logos for application form

Shout:
Mashakaleaks http://www.erepublik.com/en/article/2497658/1/20 ~Official eUS Military Press Release~