Join the new world

Soundtrack

For my Chinese friends: sorry for spam, but please consider I don’t do it too often.

Pentru prietenii mei: azi va aduc un film care, sper eu, va va descreti fruntile, de prea multa vreme incruntate. Un film care, dincolo de subiectul adesea speculat, intoarcerea in trecut pentru a repara o greseala, aduce umorul savuros al celor doi actori principali, Tommy Lee Jones si Will Smith, grefat desigur pe scenariul lui Etan Cohen si Lowell Cunningham , un umor bazat pe capacitatea extraordinara a celor doi de a se completa: simpaticul volubil si taciturnul imbufnat.
Un film care merita vazut pentru endorfinele cu care te trezesti ca ti-au fost generate dupa vizionare.
Cred ca nu e nimeni care nu si-ar dori sa se intoarca in timp pentru a-si repara o greseala, o eroare de judecata, o alegere nefericita, o vorba spusa la furie.
Cu ani in urma, exasperata de o colega de pe sectia de cardiologie, am repezit-o, nu-mi aduc aminte cat de urat, dar am suparat-o grozav. Peste cateva zile, am regretat amarnic, cand l-am internat pe tata exact la doctorita a acarei asistenta era. Nu, nu si-a platit nici o polita, dar nu stiu daca va imaginati cum am constientizat cata prostie e sa lovesti cu cuvintele, gratuit. Am devenit bune prietene apoi, dupa ce mi-am cerut scuze. A fost o lectie despre faptul ca e bine sa ne uitam in ograda noastra, sa vedem daca portocalii sunt la locul lor.
Acum doua zile, stand seara tarziu la calc (erepublik, fireste D), aud larma mare pe strada: mieuneli disperate, latraturi si strigate de copii. Stiind ca am un motan cam prostavan, care ia mereu bataie, de la alti motani, de la pescarusul caruia a vrut sa ii fure puii, am iesit val vartej sa il salvez, convinsa ca tot el e ciuca batailor. Nu era el, era un pui mic mic de pisica, in soc dupa ce un maidanez il mursecase bine. Copiilor le era teama sa il ia din mijlocul soselei, asta mic era el socat, dar tot isi arata coltisorii si scuipa de zor. L-am luat, n-am putut sa il las acolo, desi trebuie sa il ingrijesc acum, sa il pazesc de motanul cel bleg, pe el l-ar bate, amaratul, si chiar de el insusi. Ma gandesc acum, daca stiam, mai ieseam? Intamplari ca astea te fac sa iti vezi adancurile sufletului si sa te vezi asa cum esti. Inchizi apoi bine cu cheia camarutele acelea, aruncand-o si sperand ca nu vei mai gasi-o prea curand.
In concluzie, nu v-ati dori sa fie iar ziua 1653?

Acum, citatele din scenariu, foarte putin modificate, sper sa nu supere pe nimeni, doar sa amuze eventualii cititori.


Agent J aka Eden MC: Who are we?
Agent K aka Eden HQ: We are no-one. Our mission is to monitor extraterrestrial activity on Erepublik.


[at the top of the Chrysler Building]
Alien aka Plato: [hands J a device] Here, take this, and all you have to do is jump.
Agent J aka Masive Destruction Weapon owner: You want me to jump?


Agent J aka Plato: I know what you're thinking: MIB, V3, we're going to be blowing stuff up and all that. But that's not really what we're doing right now. We're here for one purpose, and for one purpose only: Just to let you know that I'm about to make V3 look good.


Agent J aka MoD: Knuckles, you know you're not supposed to be north of Central Hungary!
Hood aka Bizonel: Who's Knuckles?
Knuckles aka Mountain Dino: Relax, punk. They're looking for me, not you!
Agent J aka MoD: Crazy, right? Two grown men talking to the wall, Battle wall standin’ still? It's a mess.


Agent K aka PP: I promised the secret password of the universe, nothing more.
Senator: Well, what other secrets are there?


Agent K aka FMC Elite Commander: There are things out there you don't need to know about.

Agent J aka FMC Elite Member: That's not the lie you told me when you recruited me!


Agent J aka Lego-Lol: All right, pay attention...
[neuralyzes a crowd]
Agent J aka Lego-Lol: Okay. You know how you kids won the goldfish in that little baggy at the school fair, and you didn't want that nasty thing in your house so you flushed it down the toilet? Well, this's what happened...
[points to 600 Gold towed away]


Agent J aka Sas Dragos: [to K aka Maniu] I am getting too old for this. I can only imagine how YOU feel.


O aka unualibro : Somehow history has been rewritten. There has to be a reason this is happening, and M seems to be in the centre of it...


Agent J aka Gicuta Ciufu: You gotta send me back to 2008...
Alien aka xxxxxxx yyyyy: First, we gotta get high.
Agent J aka Gicuta Ciufu: My man, for real!
Alien aka xxxxxxx yyyyy : No, I mean really high.


Young Agent K aka Bizonel: Okay, future man, where to?
Agent J aka BH Hunter : First of all, I'm gonna need my gun.
[K gives J a pistol]
Agent J aka BH Hunter: No no no, space gun! My Bomb!


Andy Warhol aka MoFA: Dammit K, trying to blow my cover?
Agent J aka MoD: Whoa, Andy Warhol's one of US?
Andy Warhol aka MoFA: Who's the dumbass?
Agent J aka MoD: You know, I'd have no problem pimp-slapping the shiznit out of Andy Warhol.


Young Agent K aka Mity_S: [unfolds 100 energy bars] They have these in the future?
Agent J aka Cupidon1: That's what I'm talking about!


Agent J aka Claudiu976: We're running out of time, we're running out of clues, and there's an invasion coming, so really we need to go right now!
Young Agent K aka #rt: [deadpan] All right.


[K aka fresh baby handles an old q1 weapon]
Agent J[laughing] aka soaresol : That's a big weapon. Don't hold it up to your head!


Coney Island Flower Child aka nikol_nikol: Hey, make love, not war.
Boris The Animal aka ADI CEP: I prefer to do both.


Agent J aka Old erepublikan: Ooh. You look like you come from the GSP forum... Damn.


Griffin aka Radu Pangaiu: The bitterest truth is better than the sweetest lie.


[the crew of Apollo 11 are watching the fight between on the launch tower between the BH and BH wanna be in a RW in Botswana]
Buzz Aldrin: If we report this, they're going to scrub the launch.
Neil Armstrong: [Passively] I didn't see anything.


Agent K aka Flausino: Do you know what is the most destructive power in the universe?
Agent J aka Turkey: Sugar?


Griffin aka eRomania: A miracle is something that seems impossible but happens anyway.

The end