Lowell Kennedy Not Running For Congress In Texas

Day 673, 18:18 • Published in USA USA • by Lowell Kennedy

Hello Fellow eCitizens,

Today, I am announcing that the state in which I shall not be running for Congress has changed. I cannot stay in the great state of Florida this coming election, due to the changing situation of the United States. I view this ever-changing landscape as a great chance for me to affect change. I want to make this announcement because it’s essential for me to keep my word and never go back on my word like saying ‘I’ll never run for Congress again’ and then proceed to do so. Additionally, I feel it’s entirely necessary to promote myself and my agenda by spamming the media with a platform that I probably cannot deliver on. I would also like to add that I’m the change that everyone’s been waiting for (I know the wait’s excruciating—I would pinch you through the screen to make you believe it). So without further ado, I’d like to announce that I am not running for Congress in Texas. In fact, I would run from Congress if I had choice.

Taxes
Taxes are a huge issue in eRepublik, but ask yourself: who needs the money, me or the big bad government? Screw the military, let’s lower them.

Transparency
People need someone they can trust. I would always support fluff like the PIA and the like because those things are essential for success in this game.

Foreign Policy
The eUnited States is on the rebound. Once we get all our states back, we should attack all those S.O.B’s that took them in the first place. That’ll show them: don’t mess with Texas. As your Congressman, I would lead the charge by howling and clawing like a dog of war.

Military
I am in love with the Military. I would be with the military even if I didn’t knock it up. These great men and woman deserve nothing but our undying affection. As your congressman, I will work towards this goal.

Programs
Programs, what programs?

Bipartisanship
I love anything that is bi. This is not an exception. Furthermore, I’m sure the candidates the USWP, AAP, CVP, LIB, and UIP are running are strong-minded individuals. Especially when you consider, the USWP started out as a party dedicated to new players. I can appreciate helping out new players explaining game concepts, providing jobs, giving food if necessary, and building a congenial community to enjoy as everyone played the game. Why would they ever need to be used as a rebound party after the Congress was headed in the right direction away from egotistical queen b’s. It certainly wouldn’t be the party I helped to play a part in growing to the pre-eminent American political party. I’m sure we would never see the party put up washed-up, aren’t-you-gone-yet people that helped to cause the downfall of America.

Hopefully this gives you an idea of what I'm about. I once again ask you to not vote for me on September 25th.

Thank you,
Low