Lose Weight FAST!

Day 692, 07:22 • Published in Iran USA • by Bastion

Are you tired of being fat & bloated?

Are you carrying excess pounds in the form of occupied foreign regions?

Are you ready to say 'goodbye' to belly fat and 'hello' to a new, slim country?

Well, look no further...

The United States and her allies are here to help! Our elite service men and women are pleased to be able to help you with a plan to slim down your waistline and give those excess territories back to their original owners!

Sound too good to be true? Don't take our word for it! Just listen to this satisfied customer:

"The United States Mobile Infantry, Marines, Army & Airborne changed us forever! We were weighed down by our own decisions to occupy helpless regions from Israel AND Greece... the US came in, and within a week we were looking trim and fit once again!" - eTurkey

Still don't believe us?

"Between Seal Team 6 and various other elite US & Allied Forces, we were able to shed a whole occupied Indian region THIS WEEK! We can't believe how GREAT this feels!! Thank you for your help." - eIran

You're welcome, Persia; you're welcome!

So how much would YOU pay for a service like this? 1.000.000 Gold? No way! 100.000 Gold? Heck No! 10.000 Gold? Are you kidding me?!

Act NOW and you can drop those excess regions for as little as a few THOUSAND Gold from your country's treasury dropped on distraction battles while the real target practically disappears overnight!!

We know what you're thinking: How can the US & its Allies possibly profit when your country is dropping THOUSANDS of Gold in the process?? It's easy: strategically, we're smarter than you! And that's OK to admit... you wouldn't have gotten yourself into this situation in the first place had you been able to control your urges and make wise decisions. Don't worry - we're hear to help. Spending our hundreds while you drop THOUSANDS is what we do best!

Don't delay; call now! Operators are standing by...

Bastion