Join the new world

Issue 14
"The Fieldist turns me on" ~CaptJustice, Important American

---

Iasov Wins Libertarian Debate
The United Independent Party debate was last night, and frankly, we at The Fieldist lost interest within the first ten minutes we saw of it. It was about at the point of "I also agree" being said that we realized it was less a debate, and instead moved to watch the Libertarian Party debate, guaranteed to be an interesting one. It was being held by sitting Libertarian President Iasov, with his competitor, himself, Iasov. Through out the debate, Iasov was flanked by his robots, Athena and Liberty, respectively.


(Mr. Iasov, seen here drawing life force from his special throne)

Mr. Iasov immediately led the charge. "I've spent far too much time in forums and back room chats, and left the real work to my subordinates!" "Not so," he countered, switching seats, "I haven't done enough time on the forums and in the back rooms! If anything, working and training is taking up so much of my time, I can hardly be bothered to read the logs of conversations long since over!" Fireworks of this sort were typical throughout the night, though ultimately in a show of good moral character, Mr. Iasov agreed with himself that he's the best man to run the Libertarian Party.

---

Economic Collapse Looms
According to economic maven Gulden Draak, the coming ability of company owners to work in their own companies and all of their own companies will increase the economic disparity of the world. A near global economic collapse looms, as the unskilled masses will be unlikely to find jobs and the rich will produce nearly all of the goods, which will overflow the market to such an extent that prices will drop causing the aforementioned shortage of jobs for unskilled labor. Will more turn to commune labor as an alternative? The Fieldist business reporter has not the economic acumen to know if this will be effective.


(Ha ha! Poverty is funny!)

The Fieldist has a preview of what tomorrow's doomsday scenario will be like. First, the rich will start companies to fulfill all of their own needs. This will lead to the rich essentially just producing their own goods. They will become economic and military juggernauts. Those unfortunate souls not able to find work on communes will be rounded and under a lottery system, they will eat one another. As the young slowly die off, the established figures of the world will grow stronger, creating a massive divide between the very old and the very young who will repopulate the world once the demon "Admins" have stepped in to "restore order."

---

New Nations To Be Immediately Taken Over
Those feared demons known as "The Admins" announced today that they will unleash three new nations upon the world; Egypt, Saudi Arabia, and the United Arab Emirates. Around the world, many are expecting a cataclysmic war with Israel, with the US already debating whether it will defend the Jewish nation. Many expect it to be like the Greeks and the Turks, or the Greeks and the Macedonians, or the Macedonians and the Bulgarians; etc. Representatives of the "Arab Government In Exile" have claimed that they bear no ill will towards Israel.


(The first image that comes up when you search "Egypt")

Still others are preparing to utilize the new nations as bases for their own political careers, leaving their home countries to immediately take control over the new nations, which will undoubtedly lead to a long struggle in those country's history similar to that of the New Zealanders or South Africans who have had to deal with foreign elements in control of their nation for most of their history. The Fieldist recommends an American alliance with the UAE, just because groups with "United" in their name should band together. This will mark the arrival of a second African country in the world, although the two African nations are at extreme opposites of the continent.

---

The Guldie
Gulden Draak gets to feature in this issue twice, because tomorrow night he'll announce the first winner of the Guldie (okay, technically it's the "Draak Award For Journalist Excellence, but "the DAFJE" sucks as a shorthand. It's like how they're the "Academy Awards" but everyone just calls them the "Oscars"). There has been some speculation that I'm likely to be the first winner of this prestigious award, with someone actually asking me last week if I'd won the thing already. I hope to win it, someday. And throughout the week, I've published seven plus potential contenders, starting with Volume VII, Issue 7 "America Is Under Attack, Will You Save It?"


(Mr. Draak, seen here kneeling in a field for some reason)

That said, I think the Guldies are great, but decor says I mustn't campaign for it, since that would be tempting fate. Actually, this whole editorial is tempting fate. Hopefully the Guldies will form a mainstay of American journalism, and replace the ad hoc party writers' guilds which have so far failed to produce any significant results. I'd personally like to see them expanded to separate categories or maybe rankings, and one a week is far too slow a pace for someone as impatient as myself (I'm so impatient that I write an issue a day or quicker most days). But alas, Mr. Draak can only magic himself so much money.

---

READ THE FIELDIST FAMILY


Our syrup-sucking, horribly misspelled affiliate in the north, The Fieldest Canada

Like The Fieldist? Live abroad? Write well? Contact SamWystan about creating an affiliate!

---

THE FIELDIST ANNOUNCEMENTS

Staff
SamWystan: Editor-In-Chief
All writers currently suspended.
-Join The Fieldist. Join Quality American Journalism. Foreigners Welcome!

Want instant notification the minute a new Fieldist hits the shelf? Friend SamWystan, and get the exclusive Fieldist shouts!

The best quote on The Fieldist will be used for the next issue.

---

SAM'S CORNER

Wystan's Raiders: We Rock


Join the Libertarian Writers' Guild, be among the best in American Journalism, click the bar!