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Let’s Bring some Humor Back into this Game

Day 832, 17:10 by Hale Kane





An elderly woman went to her local doctor’s office and asked to speak with her doctor. When the receptionist asked why she was there, she replied, “I’d like to have some birth control pills.”
Taken back, the doctor thought for a minute and then said, “Excuse me, Mrs. Glenwood, but you’re 80 years old. What would you possibly need birth control pills for?”
The woman replied, “They help me sleep better.”
The doctor considered this for a second, and continued… “How in the world do birth control pills help you sleep?”
The woman said, “I put them in my granddaughter’s orange juice, and I sleep better at night.”





"Mister, why doesn't this cow have any horns?" asked the young lady from a nearby city. The farmer cocked his head for a moment, then began in a patient tone, "Well, ma'am, cattle can do a powerful lot of damage with horns. Sometimes we keep'em trimmed down with a hacksaw. Other times we can fix up the young 'uns by puttin' a couple drops of acid where their horns would grow in, and that stops 'em cold. Still, there are some breeds of cattle that never grow horns. But the reason this cow don't have no horns, ma'am, is 'cause it's a horse."





3 guys were riding in a car: a hardware technician, a systems analyst, and a programmer. The systems analyst is driving and when they come to a steep hill he finds that the brakes have failed and the car is accelerating out of control.

So, the driver pumps the emergency brake, downshifts the gears, and rubs the wheels' rims against the curb. He finally wrestles the car to a stop. The three climb out and assess the situation.

Hardware tech: "Let's try and fix it. I'll crawl under the car and take a look. "

Systems analyst: "No. I think we should get someone qualified to fix it, a specialist in brakes."

Programmer: "Why don't we just get back in and see if it happens again?"





"What time does the library open?" the man on the phone asked.
"Nine A.M." came the reply. "And what's the idea of calling me at home in the middle of the night to ask a question like that?"
"Not until nine A.M.?" the man asked in a disappointed voice.
"No, not till nine A.M.!" the librarian said. "Why do you want to get in before nine A.M.?"
"Who said I wanted to get in?" the man sighed sadly. "I want to get out."





Sorry to the admins for breaking this rule of no placing humor in the newspapers but I think that you'll understand as there hasn't been any for a long time. Plus, George Bush even laughed at this one too.

Vote this up!

 

Comments

milestailsprower
milestailsprower Day 832, 17:41

First?

Kusuri Uri
Kusuri Uri Day 832, 17:49

Kronos Q
Kronos Q Day 832, 18:01

Programmers are just that awesome.

Liquid Radium
Liquid Radium Day 832, 18:02

Vikta
Vikta Day 832, 18:07

mahstorage
mahstorage Day 832, 20:10

niice

MCA421
MCA421 Day 833, 01:51

This was not funny at all. Pretty weak to be honest

cagedleech
cagedleech Day 833, 14:52

Heh. I liked the third one

Hale Kane
Hale Kane Day 834, 14:41

thought that people would like this.

GodFatherBear
GodFatherBear Day 1,137, 19:19

patar don't worry i laughed at most of these jokes (: Thanks for stepping up and spreading the joy of humor.
Voted and subed
"First and last joke are the best (:"

 
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You are reading an article written by a citizen of eRepublik, an immersive multiplayer strategy game based on real life countries. Create your own character and help your country achieve its glory while establishing yourself as a war hero, renowned publisher or finance guru.