LEAVE AUSTRALIA

Day 961, 17:56 • Published in Australia Australia • by Cottus Arci


Possibly the most awesome newspaper in eRepublik not to have gotten an Media Mogul medal!

Sandygee, Wonder Forward and the rest of the Indonesian douchebags have PTO'd eAustralia.

No... pay attention.

Sandygee, Wonder Forward and the rest of the Indonesian douchebags have PTO'd eAustralia.

Indonesian douchebags have PTO'd eAustralia.

Australia is PTO'd.



Even now, I feel like this guy. "Oh... the admins will save us!" I hear you all cry... after all, every time I started to discuss some kind of contingency plan, that's all I was met with. So eAustralia, it's about time you actually got the truth, certain things that can only really be told in defeat, and in me turning my back on this nation.

A little story about the fall of eAustralia

I've always had a certain incompatibility with eAustralia, and have felt it for as long as I was a resident there... see, to me, Australians in real-life, on the whole are generally a bi-polar bear mix of two kinds of people;

The Pauline Hanson



- Doesn't like change, likes the 'old ways'.
- Loves to have a whinge whilst on a smoko, but never does anything about it.
- Always jealous of everyone, and anything anyone else gets, that they don't - especially people on Centrelink.
- Spineless, gutless, in essence stands for nothing other than tall poppy syndrome.
- Probably racist.
- Isolationist... it's the Aussie way, or it's simply alien to them.

People like "The Pauline Hanson" have done exceptionally well in eAustralia, some even rising to positions of power within the military and politics. However "The Pauline Hanson" homeland is the Senate, where they get to bicker, squabble and shoot down anything of ingenuity. It's not about making eAustralia a better nation, with better, more effective governance... no... it's literally a bunch of wannabe public servants having a bitch over a smoko, making life harder for the Executive Branch of the Government (refer to jealous and spineless points above), whilst neglecting their actual duties as representatives of the eAustralian citizen.

And...

The Yobbo Bogan



- Doesn't like anything serious, since beer isn't serious.
- Only likes to laugh and joke around, even at the most inappropriate times (LIKE AN IMPENDING PTO).
- I'm trying to include a 3rd point, but they really come across this simple.

People like "The Bogan" love to do things "for teh lulz"... in fact, the modern internet-enabled bogan even knows catchphrases like "teh", "lulz" and "lol", to cleverly blend in with their surrounding habitat. They most likely have some deep-seeded emotional issues, because they often adopt a bully mentality when in any position of authority, like, oh, being an IRC admin. They are right at home here, as they can instantly shoot down any instance of original or logical thought... especially towards new folk - ausrep these days comes across like a backward, redneck hick country town pub, sneering with suspicion and alcohol-fuelled anger toward any newcomer "not from 'round 'ere" who walks in, asking for directions as they're lost.

While the rise of eAustralia was one that has been clearly documented, the fall is one that is shrouded in mystery, deception, even hatred. Since some of us here are drama queens... I'm sure you can't wait to hear what I have to say - although most of you simply will not like it.

Why? Because it's probably you who is at fault.



This is a log of voters at each Presdential Elections. There's two things I notice about this graph.

1. The stagnation since Oct 2009

Reference: Political Power of eAustralia

Hmm... let me think, let me think... OH! That's right! We got Western Australia back in early October! Well gee whiz... shouldn't that have been the time where we actually boomed???? Oh... no, that's right, a certain gold theft occurred at a very inconvenient time in early November, as Australia solidified and moved to take a stand against Indonesia and join EDEN.

INTERESTING.

Of course, the likes of patti11, Derek Apollyon and even myself were naturally the first to be blamed for the theft. Well that's funny, Lana, and a lack of pro-Australian buying mentality has left me with 4 companies, no stock, no gold, and about 8 AUD. I hardly tanked, so I doubt it was me. In fact economically, I'm a mere pathetic shadow of what I once was. Has patti11 tanked beyond reason, or expanded his corporate empire? No. What about Derek Apollyon? Well he faded away to obscurity, beaten down time and time again by "the new guard".

I won't even begin to start pointing the finger... I simply never have and never will without any tangible proof.

So November was literally the first term of "the new guard", with Cerridwen Voeland as CP. Gold goes missing in her first week, and the "old guard" are blamed.What followed was a disasterous few months for eAustralia, with bickering and in-fighting hitting an all-time high. I even dusted off my retirement jacket and stepped in to serve 2 terms, as independant and tried to employ and respect both "sides"... but it appears that as soon as I burned out again, the in-fighting began to creep back in.

2. Our reversion to our old bickering ways
It was hilarious, but also very enlightening to see that, in terms of mentoring, I decided the most attention towards a certain "new guard" member... only to find that this "new guard" member looked back on my administration as clearly playing favourites towards the "old guard". Did I accomplish anything? Yes, we joined EDEN... and maybe delaying the inevitable by two months. That's about it, really.

Congratulations to eIndonesia
Oh sorry, Angel Demon... RIGHT... because EI is doing everything in it's power to stop the Angel Demon PTO of Australia.... RIGHT.

How many voters did you send across to help vote for sir c0nstant?

None? Yes? I figured. You're full of fecal matter and we all know it.

However... what you do deserve, is this.



No really.. it's an honour! You painstakingly planned this for months, you stopped lower than any other nation in the history of eRepublik. Cherish it, you earned it!

What Now?
Now I'm in Canada... I've taken it upon myself to not get involved with the individual affairs of each nation anymore... so I aim to bring the Brolliance closer, or should I say, stop Aus being isolationist douchebags and drag them closer to eUS and eCan... so, I'll be media-heavy and making 3 series of articles, all on-going...

The Brolliance Exchange Program
This will highlight current and on-going transfers of citizens between Brolliance nations. It allows movement between Brolliance nations without any fear of PTO or isolationist suspicion. This will be a mega brief intro interview type thing, in an ongoing article series

ie myself & Cozza (Aus) living in Can... Dycey (USA) living in Can, Corey Blake (USA) living in Aus, etc

The incentive is that you contact the Exchange Program org/group i'll probably create for this... and you'll get a bit of airtime... and for Govts... it creates a register of trusted and known travellers. It will also help eAustralia integrate into the likes of USA and Canada, which should be your home in exile.

Interviews with Brolliance members
Let's fact it, most Aussies know absolutely stuff all about our "closest allies" (y'know, the one's who save our asses time and time again), and believe it or not, but they know very little about you (yes, they saved our asses, regardless). So I'm going to start a grand series of interviews, the likes of which could almost be as awesome as Dartreals, but probably not.

Histories of the Brolliance
Again, more getting to know you stuff, but this kind of history really tells it like it is... much like the way I've told the story about eAustralia's downfall. Other Brolliance members have also had their fair share of scandals too, so I'll be enlisting the help of some of their most talented writers... and maybe even eventually converted into comics, with Dartreal's help (I'll ask him nicely).

So... LEAVE AUSTRALIA

Yeah - screw it... it's time to regather, reunite and remember what we used to do best - WORK TOGETHER. Move to a Brolliance member nation (or Romania or Greece... they've been good to us too) and let Indonesia revel in their glory - until we can increase our numbers Twofold (OH, THE PUN!!!!!!!!!!), we don't stand a chance to regain our nation.


In dedication to Tyler F Durden. Someone I always admired and wanted to get to know better. I only found out about your passing 2 days ago, and eCanada will not be the same without you.

Cottus Arci.