King Woldys Christmas Message

Day 1,130, 22:51 • Published in United Kingdom United Kingdom • by National Newspaper Association
His Britannic Majesty KIng Woldy.....


The Night before eChristmas...

Twas the night before eChristmas, when all through the Royal Mansion
It was pretty ruddy noisy; we’re building an expansion.
The stockings were hung in the forums with care,
The two-clickers didn’t know they were there.

The Commies were nestled all snug in their beds,
Whilst they dreamt of role playing as revolutionary reds.
With Dishmcds in his poncho, and I in my Crown,
We’re just getting ready, to party and get down.

When out in rapture we heard screams of spite,
As Winston L.S. Churchill PTO’d Billy Bright.
Away to the prison I flew like a flash,
To settle them down, with the royal hash.

When Malta appeared to say “Wait, don’t you know..
.that’s not in the legislation! to PD you go!”.
“STOP”, screamed Mantle, “The wording’s not clear!”
And a debate erupted, and Tomazim shed a tear

Iain Keers tried to console him, lending a hand.
“They know not what they do, they don’t know of the sands”.
But the debates raged on, all through the day,
Amendments, blacklistings, and is Lap gay?!

"Now Indie! now, Thatcher! now, DanMoir, Fezoj too!
On, Jhorlin! On, Hassan!, on Helia and Chew-Chew-Shoe!
To the pinnacle of politics, the eHoC!
Of Partisanship, Rivalries, and Conspiracies; be free!"

With the sh*t storm over, politicians asked why,
After ragequits and brawls, people still sigh.
It soon dawned upon them, to relieve them of doom,
They had to run the gauntlet, and make a baby boom.

They were spammed by Anno and took this as proof,
That there were people out there - that much was truth.
But they were level headed; their feet on the ground,
“We need to get on telly to really make a sound”.

An opportunity arose of which their chances were the best,
So they entered Maddog into the miss Wales contest.
Their hopes were high until the judges began to wail,
“But where are the hoofs? The Wool? and the tail?”.

With a sad look in his eye, he flicked his ginger locks!
“I knew Woldy would make a sheep joke, you’re all a bunch of c*cks!”
Their chances diminished and their hopes getting low,
They turned to the man who everyone knows.

The hat on his head, and stick in hand,
Would Kumnaa be able to save the land?
He was perched on the sofa watching the telly,
Perching a yuletide log on his belly!

He was thin and sticklike, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself!
A wink of his eye and a lock of a thread,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.

He turned to us and said, “you’re still around? I thought you’d all gone”.
The voice of Horice was heard, “We’ll be around until our country has Won!”
A solemn look struck Kumnaa’s face,
He got up and apologised for the state of the place!

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!"

He didn’t come back, and left us confused,
Smack again mentioned how by Woldy he’d been abused.
Nevertheless in the community they decided to stay,
Because it’s great to be part of the eUK.

From King Woldy and all here at the MoHA...

"Happy Christmas to all, hope you have a great day."