Join the new world

Greetings Fellow eAmericans!
While many of you know who I am, and would vote for me purely because of my good looks and charm, it is important to share with you the platform upon which I stand, and the basis upon which you will vote for me in the upcoming Congress elections. Allow me to lay out the key points of this candidacy:

1-Cake vs. Pie. This is an important issue, and judging from it’s meteoric rise among the issues being discussed in this election, it is an obvious metaphor for the deeper issues at stake here: Are we All-American Apple Pie eaters, who will share equal slices from the same deep dish? Or does our leadership echo the same, infamous and aristocratic words of Marie Antoinette who, as her “subjects” were starving for want of bread, coldly said “Let them eat cake”. Cake!? That formless paste! Marie had it wrong! Michael Lewis has it wrong! [e😛 “grandmother’s pee”? WTF??] I stand firmly entrenched among the ranks of well balanced candidates such as NoneSuch, and PrincessMedyPi, when I say we are PIE EATERS, thank you very much! We, the (future) members of Congress, are YOUR subjects, America. We are here to represent your wishes. Let’s eat pie together. Preferably hot, with Vanilla Bean ice cream.

2-To War or Not to War; That is the Question! And an important question too. War is one of the greatest cogs in the eRepublik economic machine, and it MUST be oiled regularly. War stimulates the economy, it provides players with an impetus to stay in the game, and it is the main ingredient in America’s Secret Ass Kicking Sauce. As a member of Congress, I will vote for War whenever the opportunity arises PROVIDED THAT: 1- It is a war we are likely to win, and 2- It is a war that does not violate any treaties we have established with other countries. YES TO WAR!

3-Wimminz. What more can I say? I will support every action that brings a greater population of wimminz into this sausagefest we call eRep. Which is a sub-category of my next and greater point:

4-Citizen Expansion Program. One of the primary frustrations that many eRep citizens have expressed to me (especially those “fresh off the boat”) is the lack of orientation they feel when first starting. Even though the idea of a new citizen orientation system has been tossed about repeatedly even since back when I was a noob, it has never been properly implemented despite the best of intentions. It would be a personal priority to establish a government program that is effective in helping new players get the lay of the land, introduce them to the necessary elements of eRep such as forums, external web pages, and of course IRC.

5-Economy. It has been a recent topic of discussion in the news; Some of the newer players have expressed disappointment in the economic efforts of President Benn Dover and have criticized his administration overall. This would be much like moving to America in 2009 and complaining about Obama screwing up the RL economy. In fact, that is not even a fair comparison because, as many of the older players can attest, the economy was much worse when Benn took over; primarily as a result of the V1 transition, coupled with a president-elect (Roby Petric) who jettisoned before he ever took office and left us to flounder for a month. However, while we have come a long way, we are still not back where we once were, and there is still much work to be done. As both a business owner and an employee, I can see where companies (critical to the success of the economic machine) are struggling to turn profits. I recognize the need for improvements, and especially for a stimulus to the economy. Referring to point 2 above, this means war, be it genuine eBattle or simple war games with friendly nations; War must happen in the coming weeks.

This is the platform of my election. I look forward to serving you, and thank you in advance for your vote of confidence.Regards,J.Tree