Join the ALF today!

Day 2,150, 01:16 Published in Australia Argentina by Pat McCrutch


Why join the ALF? Because at the ALF we care about your happiness, which is why we're giving you a money back guarantee. If you aren't completely satisfied with your time at the ALF we'll give you your joining fee back.

But don't just take our word for our amazing work, here are some testimonials from other satisfied members!

"Wow! It really works! After joining the ALF my penis grew by 3 inches!"
-Flatty

"If I had known about this amazing party earlier, I would have joined straight away!"
-Lord Braddy

"After joining the ALF I lost over 30 kilograms! I now feel more confident and I have more energy each day!"
-Wyvernjack

"What the hell am I doing here? Everyone else in here seems pretty creepy...."
-Cyber Casper

"Someone promised free stuff here?"
-Noodles84


For an added bonus, give your credit card details to Flatty on arrival and you could win an $80 mystery gift! So what are you waiting for? Join the sleaziest organisation (organization Nicky) since infomercials were invented!

But that's not all! Join within the next ten minutes and you'll receive the veg-o-matic completely free! It cuts fruits and vegetables in seconds! So what are you waiting for? Join now!

*This message was not endorsed by anyone other than Flatty. If you have any complaints about this article please forward them to him. Pat McCrutch does not accept any responsibility for the damage this article did to your IQ.