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The Washington Herald

Washington, District of Columbia, United States of America
Day 1,368 (August 19, 2011)
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Table of Contents:
Introduction Article: Welcome to the District!
Introduction to The Washington Herald
Main Article: Ajay Bruno- Political Mistake
Biography of the eUSA's MOST NOTORIOUS Politician (Arguably)
Secondary Article: Introduction to the Writer
Introduction to Michael Raab
Sports (Real Life): Terrelle Pryor (Part 1 of 4)
Will he ever be a NFL Star?
Concluding Article: How the F…?
?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Introduction Article: Welcome to the District!
BY: MICHAEL RAAB

Hello everyone, this is The Washington Herald. Our mission is to bring you the real news, not the news that any unreliable source gives you. That’s right folks, we are 100% Pizza the Hut and Ajay Bruno Free! We intend to bring you the news from inside and outside eRepublik faster than any other "amateur" newspaper. At this paper we don't show pictures of half-naked women (or men) even though we do think that half-naked (or naked) women are extremely sexy. We would like to keep this environment completely professional and bring you the news.
Here at the Herald, we will cover all points of modern day news like Politics, Economics, and Sports. Frankly, we don't care if you skip over a piece of our paper as long as you still read. We have come to the realization that you may be reading this any a multitude of weird places. These places could include the bathroom, an airport lounge, or maybe even a jail cell.
All of us at The Washington Herald hope you enjoy our first edition and that you continue to read our stories by subscribing at our newspaper page. We would also appreciate it if you "voted" our stories to encourage our somewhat mediocre writers to write more slightly above average stories. Thank you for your patience, we will now continue on to our Main Article… Ajay Bruno- Political Mistake.



Main Article: Ajay Bruno- Political Mistake
BY: MICHAEL RAAB

For n00bs in the eUnited States, hearing the name Ajay Bruno is just like hearing the name Darth Vader. Some newer players question the name because they don't know who Ajay Bruno is. I feel as if we need to education the newer eRepublik generation on Ajay's horrible life of Political Treachery so that we do not have another Political Mistake.
My cousin (citizen name Doc Dearden)had the "pleasure" of meeting Mr. Bruno in a Political Skirmish. Mr. Dearden was running under the Conservative Party ticket in the state of Colorado. A few days before the election, my cousin received a message from Mr. Bruno stating…

"Dear Mr. Dearden,
I see that you are attempting to run in the state of Colorado under the Conservative ticket. However, I was picked by the CvP to run in this state due to my stature in the state and my friends within the government. I must kindly ask you to withdraw because I can guarantee my victory.

Respectfully, Ajay Bruno"

At the time, my cousin was only a level 18 and Mr. Bruno was a level 20. Due to this, Mr. Dearden withdrew from the race and entered in the District of Columbia. When Election Day came around, my cousin lost the race in D.C. He checked the other elections and found something that bothered him. Under the Colorado election, Ajay Bruno had lost. Not only had Mr. Bruno lost, he had also come in third.
My cousin was not only mad but outraged. He sent a message to the legendary politician of his time DesertFalcon. As the President Party, DesertFalcon told my cousin that Mr. Bruno had not had the "blessing" of the CvP to run in the state of Colorado and that Ajay would face "severe repercussions" due to his actions.
DesertFalcon had run for eight precedencies, which was the maximum, meaning he would have to step down. A current player Mattoze5 took over after DesertFalcon. Mattoze5 and Mr. Bruno had a bit of a rivalry. In a few weeks, the party split into the original Conservative Party (CvP) and the Conservative Victory Party (CvP). In a few months, both parties failed and one of the greatest political parties in the eUSA was no more.
By now, some of you might be asking… "What happened to that scoundrel Ajay Bruno?" After basically being chased out of the eUSA by… well… everyone, Ajay moved to South Africa where he later fulfilled his life goal of being elected President of a Nation… he was banned a few days later by the Admins.
Everyone, no matter what party you are in, no matter what job you have, no matter what you think about this article, I have one final thing to say… DO NOT BECOME THE NEXT AJAY BRUNO!!! Also, DO NOT BECOME THE NEXT PIZZA THE HUT… but that story is for another time.



Sports (Real Life): Terrelle Pryor (Part 1 of 4)
BY: MICHAEL RAAB

In the 2011 off season, the Ohio State Buckeyes were being investigated by the NCAA for not notifying the NCAA about knowledge of players receiving improper benefits from a tattoo parlor in downtown Columbus, Ohio. One player that stood out among the rest in these allegations was the star senior Quarterback Terrelle Pryor.
During the June 6th issue of Sports Illustrated, at least 28 players were reported to have received tattoos or other merchandise in exchange for team memorabilia or used equipment between the years 2002-2010. Some of these players included Rob Rose, Etienne Sabino, Jermale Hines, Donald Washington, Thaddeus Gibson, and even the Quarterback Terrelle Pryor.
Initially suspended by the NCAA for the first five games of the upcoming season, Pryor opted to enter the NFL Supplemental Draft instead of having to sit out the first five games of his much anticipated senior season. In my eyes, this decision was the decision of a second grader who wants to avoid punishment. When Mr. Pryor announced he would enter the Supplemental Draft, I wanted to just tell him to "grow up" and " take the punishment like a man".
For the past couple of days, the NFL disputed Mr. Pryor's eligibility to enter the draft. Finally, on August 18th, they decided that Mr. Pryor was eligible for the 2011 NFL Supplemental Draft, but he would have to sit out the original NCAA punishment of five games, a punishment he tried to elude. But will he ever be a star QB in the NFL, tune in on Monday after the Supplemental Draft for the results…



Concluding Article: How the F…?
BY: MICHAEL RAAB

Alright, what's your deal. I don't understand how you could have read my entire submission. What did you do? Did you pop a 5-Hour Energy® or something? I almost fell asleep writing these articles.
If you skipped to this article, I don't blame you, but next time at least try to read my other articles. Since this was my first issue, I will not have a Concluding Article. This is due to the fact that I don't want to type anymore and that fact that I should get some sleep.
Have a nice morning, afternoon, evening, or whatever time it is that you are reading this at… just remember to grab the second issue (8/22) for more news.