Is DMJ Secretly Mitt Romney? The Answer Might Surprise You!

Day 2,452, 20:10 • Published in USA USA • by SColbert

Hello Nation,

I have some breaking news for you coming straight out of the still going (as I type) on eNPR episode. DMJ, admitted President of the eUS, has released the information that has led this journalist to believe that he is former 1 term Governor of Massachusetts and owner of a women’s prison made completely out of binders, Mitt Romney. What is this information you ask? Well it turns out they both attend the same church. I know what you are thinking, there is no way two different people can attend the same church and not be the same person.



The theory goes as so: Upon losing the RL Presidential election Mitt Romney/DMJ decided to satisfy his lust for power by seeking control of the much powerful eUS. Don’t think about it, it makes sense. They both are Mormon, they both have salt pepper hair, they both are extremely wealthy venture capitalists, and they both wear strange underwear.

With this recent revelation I challenge DMJ to show us his birth certificate and prove that he is not actually Mitt Romney!