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OFFICIAL PARTY PUBLICATION
Ministry of Truth permit NO. 1513-345

Citizens of eIrelan😛

Boring times call for extreme measures. In this spirit we would like to take a moment to announce a brand new political party in eIreland that was created out of the old Labour Party to spice things up around here. It is called “Irish Socialism” or EIRESOC for short, but is generally just referred to as The Party.

Some citizens may recognize that the party name and logos are highly reminiscent of the fictional “INGSOC” regime from 1984. This is no small coincidence, as both regimes are based off of the highly-successful totalitarian ideology of “Oligarchical Collectivism”. But although “English Socialism” was a worthy experiment, Irish Socialism is uniquely Irish and as a matter of course rejects and vilifies every principle for which the English Socialism movement originally stood. And naturally it does so in the name of Socialism.

The specific goals of The Party are simple: to ensure a strong, experienced and highly-successful government that is backed by an unquestionably loyal and dedicated citizenry. To this end, The Party seeks to extend its influence into every aspect of eIrish life by establishing absolute oversight over all eIrish affairs by its own party ministries. Through a masterfully complex and fully institutionalized system of psychological control, Party ministries will ensure nothing less than the complete submission – mental, moral and physical – of all eIrish citizens to the will of The Party. By the end of the summer, every country president, every party president, every government minister and every MU leader in Ireland will be working directly for, and entirely at the pleasure of, The Party.








Guiding Philosophy

The Party seeks power entirely for its own sake. We are different from all the oligarchies of the past, in that we know what we are doing. All the others, even those who resembled ourselves, were cowards and hypocrites. Others came very close to us in their methods, but they never had the courage to recognize their own motives. They pretended, perhaps they even believed, that they had seized power unwillingly and for a limited time, and that just round the corner there lay a paradise where human beings would be free and equal. We are not like that. We know that no one ever seizes power with the intention of relinquishing it. Power is not a means, it is an end. One does not establish a dictatorship in order to safeguard a revolution; one makes the revolution in order to establish the dictatorship. The object of persecution is persecution. The object of torture is torture. The object of power is power.





PARTY STRUCTURE

A. Big Brother

The apex of party’s power is Big Brother. Big Brother is the infallible and all-powerful personification of The Party. Every success, every achievement, every victory, every scientific discovery, all knowledge, all wisdom, all happiness, and all virtue, are held to issue directly from his leadership and inspiration.

B. Party Regent

The Party Regent, who is directly appointed by Big Brother, is the leader of the Inner Party and successor to Big Brother. Should Big Brother be absent the party regent will hold his powers.

C. Inner Party

The Inner Party consists of the Party Ministers, advisors, and any other party appointees that are fit for party control. Inner Party members are the highest-ranking members of EIRESOC, although their identities are not necessarily made public. Membership in the Inner Party can only be obtained through appointment by Big Brother, who retains the right to appoint and dismiss Inner Party members at will. Members are not required to officially join the party in-game, although they are free to do so if they wish. Our influence is not bounded by game mechanics.

D. Outer Party

Below the Inner Party comes the “Outer Party”, which, if the Inner Party is described as the brain of the State, may be justly likened to the hands. The Outer Party consists of all other party members and Ministry department workers. They are expected to follow the guidelines set by their ministers. Failure to do so will result in demotion, firing, or expulsion and destruction depending on the severity of failure. A member can also be expelled by Big Brother or an Inner Party member at their own discretion. No trial is required. Upon expulsion the former member will be banned from participating in any aspect of eIrish society and all references to the expelled member, public or private, will be removed and forgotten.

E. Proles

Below the Outer Party come the masses whom we refer to as 'the proles', consisting of the vast majority of the country’s population who may serve the party indirectly but may not necessarily be aware of it. Proles are not permitted to participate in the upper levels of eIrish politics.

F. Party Ministries

Ministry of Truth

Purpose: The Ministry of Truth is responsible for supplying the citizens of Ireland with newspapers, films, textbooks, telescreen programmes, plays, novels—with every conceivable kind of information, instruction, or entertainment, from a statue to a slogan, from a lyric poem to a biological treatise, and from a child's spelling-book to a Newspeak dictionary. It is here that the true history of EIRESOC will be kept for future generations.

Departments: Records Department; Propaganda Department; Research Department

Slogan: "Who controls the past controls the future; who controls the present controls the past."

Ministry of Love

Purpose: The Ministry of Love is responsible for finding thought criminals and bringing them to order by indoctrinating them with the values of EIRESOC. The Ministry is also be responsible for internal security by locating citizens who falsely fly the banner of EIRESOC or intend to sabotage The Party from within.

Departments: Thought Police HQ; Re-Education Department

Ministry of Plenty

Purpose: The Ministry of Plenty is in charge of the economy. It oversees public access to food, supplies, and goods. It is also in charge of rationing these goods.

Departments: Finance Department; Trade Department; Technology Department

Ministry of Peace

Purpose: The Ministry of Peace is in charge of foreign diplomacy and war. It has the authority to command all members of society as it sees fit, including the Ministers of Defense and Foreign Affairs, during times of war.

Departments: Intelligence Department; Peace Department; War Department






IMPORTANT NOTE: For those who haven’t figured it out by now, the preceding announcement was just a joke by an outgoing party president and is not intended to be taken seriously. Although the party details were changed in-game to facilitate the joke, I fully expect the next PP of Labour to change everything back to the way it was. It is also important to note that this article was published unilaterally without the knowledge or consent of the Labour Party or any of the Irish citizens referenced within its text. All complaints can be directed to icouldntcareless@getasenseofhumor.com

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