Invasion of the Nation-Snatchers!!

Day 1,133, 08:44 • Published in USA USA • by Socialist Freedom Org

SFP PRESS NEWS FEED
Day 1133 of New World / Day 22 of Frostydom


Invasion of the Nation-Snatchers!



Citizens of Nicosia running for their life as their country vanishes


News Flash! In a startling series of developments, a number of eNations seem to be disappearing from the face of the New World. We suspect that foul play, or possibly an alien invasion, may be afoot.



The first to vanish was Denmark. Its mysterious disappearance went almost unnoticed since there's only like 3 Danes who can be bothered to log into eRepublik anyway. Naturally, some Dioists were concerned since the country formerly known as Denmark seems to now be completely covered by Swedish snow. And anonymous gun-runners who like to use this country's almost-nonexistant market to shift goods around in the dark of the night are also bound to be disappoint.

Wasn't there a country here once?



Next to go was Cyprus. This country is like one of those strange quarks. It popped into existence briefly about the same time that New Zealand, Taiwan and Montenegro appeared. But then it popped back out of existence almost as quickly. Nuclear scientists from Nomos Labs are investigating. Their current theory is that this country emits a strange attraction from Turkish particles and is also prone to collapsing into a strong force of Greek electrons.

Cyprus, we barely knew ya'!



But most startling of all was Mexico. A relatively large country with a strong nationalist element, Mexico appears to have vanished over the Christmas holidays. A number of residents of Puerto Vallarta reported that when they were hosting the traditional posadas, some strangers appeared who seemed to take offense at the traditional response:

Aquí no es mesón
sigan adelante,
yo no puedo abrir,
no sea algún tunante.

Instead of singing...

No seas inhumano,
tenos caridad,
que el Dios de los cielos
te lo premiará.

...the strangers -- who, as it turned out, were neither virgins nor carpenters -- evidently burned down the inn, all the while screaming about their insatiable need for "tacos" and "saltpeter".

Some reports have indicated that the rude vistors may have actually been North American mercenaries rather than alien life-forms. But it just seems too unbelievable to be true that a great nation like the USA would take advantage of the Season of Peace to utterly destroy their neighbor's homes. If there is any truth to this rumor, it's probably more a case of some snowbirds getting a little too rowdy during their southern vacation.

Hay veces que el pato nada y hay veces que ni agua beber.





SFP Communes -- Take Two



Socialist corn is the best! -- a young socialist

We're happy to report that the communards are once again in the food business!

Yes, the SFP's complex of communes and cooperatives is coming back to life, fulfilling the Party's promise of "good food cheap".

Offering a variety of cooperativist models and with some help from some old friends, the companies are being managed under the watchful eyes of Bishop Samuel Seabury and socialist firebrand Comrad3.

Please contact Sam or Comrad3 if interested in joining a self-sustaining community of workers.





It's Your Game: Join the SFP


Help feed a hungry world! Join the Socialist Freedom Party today.

Friends and curiosity-seekers are welcome join us on our forum at socialistfreedom.org.

Hungry? Low wellness? Help is available. Contact the Rainy Day Food Drive and Welfare Program today!
















A New Year's Story from the Lacandón Jungle




"There once was a brown horse that was brown like a bean, and he lived in the home of a very poor farmer. And the poor farmer had a very poor wife, and they had a very thin chicken and a lame little pig.

"And so, one day the very poor farmer s wife sai😛 We have nothing more to eat because we are very poor, so we must eat the very thin chicken. So they killed the very thin chicken and made a thin soup and ate it. And so, for a while, they were fine; but the hunger returned and the very poor farmer told his very poor wife: We have nothing more to eat because we are so poor, so we must eat the lame little pig.

"And so the lame little pig's turn came and they killed it and they made a lame soup and ate it. And then it was the bean-brown horse's turn. But the bean-brown horse did not wait for the story to end; it just ran away and went to another story.

"Is that the end of the story? I asked Durito, unable to hide my bewilderment.

"Of course not. Didn't you hear me say that the bean-brown horse fled to another story? he said as he prepared to leave.

"And so? I ask exasperated.

"And so nothing you have to look for the bean-brown horse in another story! he said, adjusting his hat.

"But, Durito! I said, protesting uselessly. Not one more word! You tell the story like it is"

-- Subcomandate Marcos