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Here it is, the much anticipated interview with Augustus Baldwin. I don't think it will be as good as people think but without further ado:

Derek Harlan😛 I am here with Augustus Baldwin today. Hello Augustus, how are you today?

Augustus Baldwin: Then I am fine.

Derek Harlan😛 Now I don't know you very well, tell me a little bit about yourself.

Augustus Baldwin: I am a member of the Canadian Social Democrats, Congressman for the last eight months, former interim President, former Deputy Prime Minister, three time Minister of Foreign Affairs, and the greatest man in eCanadian history.

Derek Harlan😛 Now you say you are a member of the Canadian Social Democrats but people say you are trying to destroy them. How do you respond to that?

Augustus Baldwin: I am being slandered. My opponents within the party, mainly Zanalan, are attempting to execute an organized and coordinated campaign to undermine me. Everyone knows me and Zanalan both ran against each other in the recent CSD leadership race, but I don't understand why he had to campaign on lies instead of goals. It’s a shame really.

Derek Harlan😛 If true that would really be a shame. What does that say about the CSD?

Augustus Baldwin: There are bad apples in every party. But that shouldn't reflect on the party as a whole.

Derek Harlan😛 True. What would you say about Bruck's presidency so far?

Augustus Baldwin: It is a well known fact that Bruck is merely my puppet. Therefore I would have to approve of the job he is doing. How would it reflect on me if he was a failure?

Derek Harlan😛 How do you feel about the past Party Presidential elections?

Augustus Baldwin: I was very pleased with the election. I am proud to be President of the Canadian Social Democrats. Do you realize how difficult it is for a candidate to receive fewer votes than his rival and STILL win? It was one of those rare, game changing moments. One day, when you’re old and dying, with your grandchildren sitting on your knee, you’ll think back, and say, ‘I was there when Augustus Baldwin won the CSD Presidency’.
And I’ll let you.

Derek Harlan😛 What are some of your plans for the CSD?

Augustus Baldwin: One wor😛 Greatness and Winning. You might think that’s two words, but not when I say it. When I say them they only mean one thing: Augustus Baldwin. Also two words. Coincidence? I don’t think so.
Let me break it down for you. Under Zanalan we saw the Geriatrification of the CSD. Under Augustus Baldwin we will see the Augustification. What does that mean? Imagine a Mountain Dew commercial had sex with a Ferrari.... on crack. Then multiply it by infinity.
That is my plan for the CSD.

Derek Harlan😛 How do you feel about some American claims that Canada should merge with the US?

Augustus Baldwin: I support this idea, under the condition that I become the President of the new super-country. I mean, seriously, you think you can do better?
You can’t.

Derek Harlan😛 Some people claim you are Jack Sparrow, care for a bottle of rum?

Augustus Baldwin: I don’t know how this whole Jack Sparrow thing got started. I’m pretty sure it was the doing of two troublemakers who wanted a reason to change their profile pictures to characters from Pirates of the Caribbean, and find new ways to sexually harass Coda.
But harassing Coda is my job, sweet cheeks. Though I still question whether Coda is really a girl.

Derek Harlan😛 I am pretty sure Coda is a girl. Actually, come to think of it, I did feel a five inch lump on her leg…. Anyways, many claim you are a tyrannical monster, how do you plead?

Augustus Baldwin: I am constantly being slandered by troublemakers and brigands. You want to talk tyrannical monsters? Look no further than Dominik. He is the Presidential candidate for the Separatist Bloc, stole the Communist Party of Canada from the communists, and then stopped them from reforming communism in the CPP/CCF. He wasn’t satisfied with being JUST the anti-Canada separatist candidate, now he wants to be the anti-Canada, separatist, communist candidate. I mean if there was a Nazi Party of Canada I know for a fact Dominik would take it over just so he could become the anti-Canada, separatist, communist, Nazi candidate.
Oh, and remember to vote for Dominik and his anti-Canada, separatist, communist, Nazi Royal Feudalist Party in the upcoming elections. Yeah, he is an idiot.

Derek Harlan😛 What’s your opinion on fourth trimester abortions?

Augustus Baldwin: It is a scientific fact that life doesn’t start until the eleventh trimester.

Derek Harlan😛 Is it true that Bruck is just a multi of yours? (look at the same type of pics, the same age, the blatant ego-boosting of each other)

Augustus Baldwin: No, we all know that Bruck is just my puppet. I am not Adam Sutler, I do have a few friends who aren’t just my own multi accounts. Give me a bit of credit.

Derek Harlan😛 What did you hope to achieve from your most recent article, besides the majority of the country thinking that much worse of you?

Augustus Baldwin: I just wanted the five gold that Zanalan promised me. WHERE IS MY GOLD ZANALAN?!

Derek Harlan😛 Thanks for the interview Augustus, is there anything else you want to finish off in closing?

Augustus Baldwin: YES, MAKE THE ARTICLES STOP! You have started a horrible chain of events.

This is Derek Harland signing off.