In Defense of Two-Clickers: Revisited

Day 664, 00:23 • Published in Sweden USA • by Jack Flufferton
The world tour continues. I'm republishing this article in Sweden to foster communication and openness between the US and its allies. Love you guys and gals.

Battles are raging all across the American heartland and south, which can cause extreme confusion among non-military members, some of which are classified as "two-clickers", as they don't receive orders directly from a superior officer. While Eugene Harlot (O7) was commandant of the Marine Corps and Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, his newspaper was converted into the de facto Department of Defense mouthpiece - now we have an official DoD newspaper to direct the populace to the proper battle.

We were repelled in our attack on Russian-occupied New Jersey by a slim margin, an unfortunate outcome because a win would have given us the initiative against both Colombia and Russia, and we surely would have expelled them from the continent within days. When assessing the factors contributing to the loss, two-clickers drew the ire of highly active players for pumping damage into the wrong battles by not following the DoD orders.


Respectfully borrowed from Mainegreen's superb publication

Five months ago, I wrote my first piece, "In Defense of Two-Clickers", which was essentially a coming-out piece (or was that the gay emarriage to Ajay article?). Read it for context and a small rant by Emerick at a time when he didn't take the game too seriously. Although I hadn't really found my eRep voice - it's hard to balance concision, depth, humor and overall length - everything I said then still holds true.

Look, I have a lot of time to devote to this game, and I do so. My gal is fine with me spending countless hours accomplishing nothing in an online game that will be gone in a few years - some wives, GFs and children aren't so understanding. Some people play other online games that may soak up their attention.

This is a unique game and only appeals to a small segment of people, let alone gamers, which explains the ~10% retention rate for new American citizens. Feel grateful that someone would work and fight without being interested enough to join the government, military, political party or whatever. Really, no player that works and fights can drag us down, so long as they don't work with low wellness - that's the only harm they can do. Granted, they don't contribute as much as they could, but nobody can

Two-clickers are more important than ever now - if we treat them poorly, we increase the likelihood of them quitting. We already have a glut of understaffed companies, reducing profit margins for their owners. Imagine if they quit en masse - you'd go broke.

Most importantly, the two-clickers of today could be very knowledgeable, active players in a few months, once they feel comfortable enough expressing themselves in a world full of very opinionated voices. Do not push them away. Most people that have a good head on their shoulders don't want to sully their reputation early on by spewing unfounded garbage into the media, so you have to be patient with them. The game itself doesn't have a great built-in mechanism for teaching (although I don't know what new player walkthroughs with Plato are like now), so before you blame two-clickers, you had better be involved in the Department of Education or something.

You want a practical solution to getting more people in lockstep? Throw some of these goodies in every DoD article - no guy will miss an article:


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On a side note: I smoked a few fat bowls and poured out some delish Colt45 for Emerick, even though he's not dead yet. Effing pigs.