Important Facts You Should Know

Day 1,335, 07:32 • Published in USA USA • by Silas Soule




by Magnolia Thunderpussy, Chief of Research for Nomos Labs


It's been two years. Two years of deep undercover research. Two years of cyber-penetrating hard-to-reach places in the internets. Of "letting it all hang out" in those so-called "party forums". Of keeping track of more passwords than any decent person should ever have to.

Two years of placing good souls at the risk of perdition. All for the greater good.

Make no mistake. Getting in and out of such convoluted and compromising positions took guts, courage and even a smidgen of martyrdom. Pretending to befriend all those communists, "Dioists", mammon-worshippers, Turks and wanton girls took perseverance and a strong sense of mission. But preserving and protecting the moral order is a task that must be done. Yes, science is hard. But it's worth the cost. And doing this study was most definitely worth its weight in Big Number 79, e-Au.

You know what I'm talkin' 'bout, Willis: the ersatz gold of that false god, Play Doh.



Researchers have uncovered numerous examples of Play Doh's attempts to enslave young minds with empty promises that taste like dirt.


At long last, our special unit of scientists, funded by Nomos Laboratories and assisted by a team of crack researchers at Spectacular Times Daily, have published the results of our years-long, in-depth, under-cover expose on the Satanic butt-pirate web site known as "eRebupkis". You can find the entire text of our study on the no-holds-barred, call-out-the-Devil, soul-saving website ChristWire.

It is the sacred muckraking duty of STD to help clean up this mess. Without any further ado, in the interest of providing a prophylaxis for your mind and soul, we are relieved to chip in here with a few of the most compelling pellets from our scientific fireball.


1. ) eRebupkis is just as gay as gay can be.

A major finding of the study is that the web site was created by the homo agenda and is funded entirely by pagan Jesus-hating liberals with "gold" MasterCards provided to them by the homogay Hollywood cabal. You might think such an assertion is "over the top" or "beneath the belt". But there is hard evidence to back it up.


2. ) eRebupkis caused the world wide financial meltdown.

The study proves conclusively that the initial release of the game triggered an economic crisis that eventually swept over the world like a tsunami of bad debt. Millions were plunged into poverty and despair while a few fat cats profited. Sound familiar? There are charts that confirm this fact, like this one:


Charts don't lie!


3. ) eRebupkis leads to psychic enslavement by dark, supernatural forces.

It should come as no surprise to those in the know that a game invented in Romania -- a country well-known as the world headquarters for the Undead -- is, in fact, a hypnotic, trance-inducing mechanism for turning clean, upstanding Americans (and those other people) into drooling, blood-hungry sycophants entirely obssessed with finding their next clicks.


Actual photographic evidence of a "player" who was hypnotized by "playing" the game.


This is only the tip of the iceberg.
Remember: Praemonitus, praemunitus. Forewarned is forearmed.










Yeah, that's right. Keep those eyes wide open!