If I Ever Win The Lottery
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by Keven Traide
So here in RL Canada, we have this here $50 million lottery draw last night. I almost certainly didn't win. But bear with me as I take a leisurely stroll down 'what if' lane, where I talk about
WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF KEVEN WON THE LOTTERY
I mean, there are the obvious RL things; buy house, give girlfriend marriage of lifetime, buy epic gaming PC, buy GeekChiq's 'The Sultan' (because I love me some D&D), etc etc etc... oh probably a nice car is in there somewhere too...
But! I would also get a fancy schmancy pre-paid visa, and I would load that effer up HARD. Tens of thousands of dollars. And I would buy all the things in eRepublik. Probably spend a good solid fifty, sixty thousand dollars on gold 'n crap. And I would proceed to very liberally conquer the planet. Or at least as much of it as I could.
RW Canada. Push for open wars with other countries, provide money for air strikes, etc, buy politicians and so forth. Conquer Spain. Conquer Poland (including the continental eUS, and NO, I wouldn't push to let them have their country back. They'd just screw it up again, lol). I would ignite a war which the eWorld has yet to see.
And then I'd quit eRepublik and spend the rest of my life in a mansion in paradise somewhere. 😃
By doing this, I woul😛
1) ensure hilarious, epic-troll destruction of eCanada.
2) ensure that Plato has a little bit more money and can keep the game running enough to make you poor fools play it for at least another year (muah ha ha)
3) become a legend.
I like the way Keven thinks at 4:00 am.
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Comments
As always, I hilariously thank you for your vote, and question your judgement for doing so.
Sadly Fifty or Sixty grand would not be nearly enough to conquer Spain and Poland, Reality is that eUSA players probably spend more than that a month on Gold and can't push Poland out. Wouldn't be surprised if eCanada players spent 20 or 30k on this game in a normal month themselves, now maybe if you spent a couple million......
So be it. Several hundred thousand dollars, then. I would become a one man army! >: O PH3AR ME, ePOLAND IF I EVER GET SUUUUPER RICH.
10k should be able to get you 6 million cc.
I would buy a camera, gather the money, record me burning it and posting it for the amusement of seeing the reaction of every citizen that paid my prize by buying a ticket hoping to change his/her life around.
Oh, the glory!
Nope. That is awful. You're awful and you should feel awful. Bleh.
and that makes me laugh 😃
\o/
o7
If you are a person who is of good standing, or just a nice person all round you would probably never win the Lotto.
I recently worked with a guy who was a complete dead-beat. Never turned up to work on time, never done his fair share and just wasted his money every weekend at the pub.
Then one day he never turned up to work, after 3 days we called him to see what is going on and he said he was sick and would be back the following day. Now after another 4 days we gave up trying to call him to see if he was coming back only to find out he had just won $125k from a Lotto winning. Later on I found out that his previous job he also went missing (told the employer that his mother was dying of cancer) but the real story was he had won $80k at the casino at the city close to here the same weekend he was meant to be working but called in sick.
Lotto is a mugs game, I just give my kids the money I would spend on a ticket and they can just buy a toy, at least they get 5 minutes enjoyment out of it
When I have kids, I will give them toys and such. Especially if I win the lottery! Woot woot
Reminds me of a Steve Martin bit:
A Holiday Wish
.....Steve Martin
Steve Martin: If I had one wish that I could wish this holiday season, it would be for all the children of the world to join hands and sing together in the spirit of harmony and peace.
If I had two wishes that I could wish for this holiday season, the first would be for all the children of the world to join hands and sing in the spirit of harmony and peace.. and the second would be for $30 million a month to be given to me, tax-free in a Swiss bank account.
You know, if I had three wishes that I could make this holiday season, first, of course, would be for all the children to get together and sing.. the second would be for the $30 million every month to me.. and the third would be for all encompassing power over every living being thing in the entire universe.
And if I had four wishes that I could make this holiday season, first would be the crap about the kids.. second would be for the $30 million.. the third would be for all the power.. and the fourth would be to set aside one month each year for an extended 31-day orgasm, to be brought about slowly by Rosanna Arquette and that model Paulina somebody, I can't think of her name, of course my lovely wife could come, too. She's behind me 100% on this, I guarantee you.
...
Wait a minute, maybe that sex thing should be the first wish! So, if I made that the first wish, because, you know, it could all go boom tomorrow, and then what have you got? No, no.. the kids singing would be great, that would be nice. No, no, who am I kidding! I mean, theyu're not gonna be able to get all those kids together! I mean, the logistics of the thing is impossible! It's mroe trouble than it's worth! So, we reorganize: here we go. First, the sex - we go with that; second, the money. No! We go with the power second, then the money, and then the kids. Oh, wait, oh geez! I forgot about revenge against my enemies! Okay.. revenge against all my enemies, they should die like pigs in Hell! That would be the fourth wish! And of course, my fifth wish would be for all the children of the world to join hands and sing in the spirit of peace and harmony. Thank you, everybody.