I Am Running for US President

Day 793, 08:22 • Published in USA USA • by PigInZen


PigInZen for US President

Those that listen to Jewitt and wahooBob's podcast, The Report, found out last night that I intend to run for President of the US. This newspaper article will serve as my official announcement. I expect to face some stiff competition but I believe that my platform will be strong enough to counter the high name recognition of my suspected opponents. I also believe that my experience in government is unparalleled and makes me one of the strongest candidates out there. Here's to a great presidential campaign season!


Basic Platform




Greater Emphasis on 10,000 Fists!

Increase Citizen Retention. Pursue every angle to increase retention, such as targeted mailings using the national citizen database and including placing Q2 Hospitals in specific locations. Federalize operations by opening up services to political parties, militias and like organizations.

More Active Recruitment. Extend advertising to bring new players to the US. Create infrastructure to support increased recruitment.





WarPig Has the Power

Increased National Warfare. Plan for multiple potential wars and prosecute constant warfare. Lulls in fighting create a restless populace. The US should be pursuing even more interventionist foreign policy. Oh and if it hasn't been done by February 6th I will indeed push the button and attack the UK.





Operations and Organization - My Specialty

Improved Technological Resources. Improve the forums, wikis, IRC channels and national database. Provide public reports and statistics from the database and improve reporting and stats for government and military operations.

Restructure the Executive Branch to provide greater focus on policy and implementation. See the current executive organization chart for an idea of what the current structure is. I want to give greater autonomy to Department Secretaries and increase the administrative functions in the President, Vice President, and Chief of Staff offices.

Open government. Regular publications and communications of strategy, goals, policy and progress. Use the Office of Human Resources to open the doors of government to more interested citizens. Advertise open positions and actively recruit from a broader pool of candidates.




Just What the Hell is Going On, Anyway? OR, Communications and Documentation

Elevated Media. Make use of the US' strength in prolific writers to push our ideas and arguments in all media markets. Require executive departments to publish public reports. Publish daily government operational updates in the White House Press Release. Increase the effectiveness of the Pony Express.

Increased Documentation. Use the eUS wiki to provide a continuous source of material for government officials on policies and procedures in order to avoid the 3-7 day lull for new administrations and Congresses to get up and running.




MOAR FUN

Increase the activity of the Department of Fun. Extend policies to embrace chaos and put a little more control back in the hands of citizens over their daily lives. Put some fun back in the game.




My Qualifications

I never imagined I would end up where I am. I have had the fine opportunity to serve under every US President since Scrabman's last presidential term. Here's a summary of the roles I have taken:

Undersecretary of State, Scrabman Admin, Jun 2009
Deputy Secretary of State, Harrison Richardson Admin, July 2009
Vice President, Emerick Admin, August 2009
Chief of Staff, Emerick/Gaius Admin, September 2009
Chief of Staff, Gaius Julius Admin, October 2009
Director of Technology, Josh Frost Admin, November 2009
Vice President, Jewitt Admin, December 2009
Vice President, Jewitt Admin, January 2010

In addition to serving in the Executive I have been elected to the US Congress twice, once from Massachusetts in June 2009 and again from West Virginia in December 2009. I was also elected in France as part of the failed French PTO in July of 2009.

I have been integrally involved in the technology side of eUS affairs working to improve and organize our resources with Killing Time. We have reorganized the US Forums and IRC Channels, built a national database that pulls data from the eRepublik API, established a portal page and site for the eUS, built a gov't wiki and brought in numerous volunteers to staff the Office of Technology Resources.

I am quite active and am online for most of the day. I work in IT in RL which affords me the opportunity to idle in IRC for upwards of 14 to 16 hours. I have admin rights to the US Forums and am a regular poster there. I publish newspaper articles on a regular basis. In short, I make myself available and consider activity to be one of the premier qualifications for the US Presidency.




More Detail to Come

Anyone who knows me or has read my newspaper knows that I specialize in tl;dr. No worries, this is just the brief summary of my platform. I promise more details and greater discussion of my reasons for my positions.

A Vice Presidential announcement will be forthcoming. Stay tuned...


E Pluribus Unum. From Many, One.



I'LL SAY IT AGAIN: Together we have strength beyond measure. Do your part. Follow DoD orders. Fight with weapons. Maintain your wellness. SUPPORT THE CAUSE.