I've had a bit to drink. Perfectly sober though .. but loose enough to put thoughts to e-paper without going ..ehh what about the bs and qq ..
I dedicate this to all who seek to do well, work hard, push limits, draw blood to get there, walk through fire for you mates, destroy those who dog on you and those who seek your country to fall. I dedicate this to the many I have loved in the game, lost in the game or in the game and life (Sam Cougar and Bianca - I miss you babe ride high in heaven's hands!)
The story you're about to hear isn't about people .. or parties .. or Aus crap .. it's about one dude: Me. This is my journey through eRep these past 3 years, who I fought, who I lost, how I made it through the impossible to become only the second Prime Minister of Australia not hand-picked by the establishment - but through the voices of many.
George Lucas said re Star Wars .. all sagas have a beginning
This is mine.
I started playing the game in Australia during the time of Prime Minister Sir_C0nstant. It was an era of mixed blessings. SC was a good Prime Minister .. I didn't agree with the age-old ADF structure but over time I've toned down to appease the status quo.
This was my first battleground. I was new - I started from the bottom in the ANP after thirty rounds with Xavier Griffith and the bullsht of his AI manifesto about what 'independent' meant and yet he did everything possible to direct votes to his favourite mates.
(Noobs have to understand first the Senate system at the time was regional - not collective like today. You could vote for a 'candidate' - not a party like now).
Lancer and Majester scored the spoils of the old elections system. I still hear people say how the old days were good. LOL! Yeah - if you were one of the few. But I really can't complain. My first 6 or 7 Senate terms were under the old system and that's when I first made a move for the Senate leadership. I think it wasn't long after this I managed to get on the ticket for Deputy Speaker with Timeoin (I can't remember now) .. but it was a rush to be able to get that shot.
People think dSpeaker OH WHOOPDY F****ING DO! Again - back then a position like that meant something. We had Senates twice and three times the size of today. Even then - and that was a time past the glory days when Miss Wolfs MBP was dust. Things were still moving.
I watched how SC was taken down and Venja was all too ready to enjoy the spoils of government - a Prime Minister in waiting the moment the horse bolted and people screamed all sorts of accusations. The fact remains SC has been the most successful Prime Minister this country has ever seen. It was a time of strong economic management, people were making a dollar, producers could make a profit without ripping people off - most were happy even if they were against the strength and might of the ANP.
Then the Inspector-General's investigation into SC came. The poor bugger. Never did I ever express emotion in the game - and I was plenty angry too. You also have to remember that back when country and player accounts could store multiple currencies. Some foreign currency went missing. SC paid it back in good faith even though still to this day I swear he was innocent.
That sht was a witch hunt perpetrated by the oldfag we know as Venja - the alleged knight in shining armour and SC's Minister of Finance.
Mhm yeah cool story bro LOL!
This was his parting gift to the ANP. Not long before he was elected he defected to the AI and took part in Xavier's treehouse of fun. Binda was there at the time. Try to imagine all the forum crap politics rolled into a political party - that was the AI of 2010/11.
Shortly into the game, Venja started giving me sht. He didn't know me, I didn't even have a chance to say or do anything controversial. I barely started to use iRC. It was my first night, in fact, when Callum pulled me in to meet new players. He sat there like a perceived Don, a fossil entwined in his own sense of self-indulged prowess. Far from the most active in #ausrep but that didn't stop him from throwing in even the slightest insult when he gave him a sense of satisfaction. Venja felt it was his right, without anyone dare challenging him, to hand out crap to any and all he wanted. I didn't cop it on that first night and I haven't let up on that thing since.
The word of the ANP then is like the ARP today - it's a done deal and those who bet against them fell hard. So when the subject of Venja's government came around, I didn't buy it. I only recently crossing over from the AI to the ANP and I respected the party elders but still, SC was a man who liked to know what was on people's minds and he asked one night on Skype (we had nightly ANP and KH gatherings then). I said my bit. SC didn't judge, he hummed tacitly that the feedback was received. Suffice to say, Venja got the nod.
Venja's government wasn't fascinating, inspiring and it barely existed. If it served as his final payoff, it was worth going along with the party on it and staying in the background until the punchline to this national farce of power transference had come.
New year came and I remained in staunch defence of SC even though I had party orders from Discrate to let it go. How could I? SC was also my HC in the KH with Sam Cougar (RIP bro - Australia today doesn't pay tribute to you nearly enough!) I come from the school that you back your mates to the end. The end of an event isn't the end - the switch was the end. SC and I have parted ways since, but it doesn't change the fact I think he was a great economic boom era PM.
And along the way as I proceeded to defend SC I made my fair share of enemies. Too many have come and gone and most of them had near zero stature.
Try to imagine the e-kids of yesterday like Vyrin the First and Jeffery Skilling .. to today's Saiwun and lord braddy. I didn't take crap off the earlier day dong lickers. What did I ever do to give off the impression I was going to take their dribble now? At the end of the day they're all the same to me. They take orders from an oldfag. Without looking too hard you can trace one of these noob ponces back to their master (or mistress). Whether it's Venja, XG, Binda, Flatty, Majester .. sometimes Mack Craft - they're all carbon copies of the same raw product. It's like an inbred family, with the occasional jockey for internal rank above the other. It's the funnest sht to see - like Ma and Pa Kettle fight over who gets the use the sale first.
No one - and I mean no one has ever got anywhere e-politically without their say so - and it's the most pathetic, loathsome and corrupt arrangement since the 2009 Aus-Indo ATO campaign. Only different is.. someone forgot to tell them it was over.
There have been exceptions to this. Ranger, Larni (now DST today), Schoft, Ronny, LanyisLost, Henry and Tim have been there since the day. I've batted with each of them .. but we see eye-to-eye more often than not. All of these players were .. I don't know the right term but .. like 'survivors' of the old era. They never sacrificed a player to suit their own ends or pull an agenda.
For transparency .. true Tim and I had an issue about this but I consider it long buried. I understood his reasons because I know first-hand what it's like to form a government. Sometimes it's better to let one go to make someone you need more in the long run, happy. When all was done he was a real bloke and came to me. We chilled on it and I forgave him - we forgave each other.
I've seen the others throw people who call them MATES under the e-bus if it meant they were risking e-brownie points, let alone an election.
Me? Fk that mate. I stood true blue whatever the weather. The worst name bar a pedo that I believe one Aussie can give another is a DOG. That's worst that calling someone's girlfriend a .. you get the drift.
At this stage .. I was told by older people I trusted I needed to get out and if I didn't there were be problems. The moment they said 'problem' on Skype you could hear the 'oh fk me what did I say?'. They then realised that was only going to empower me more to stand my ground and blue.
But then an opportunity came up - Discrate (then reincarnated as DocterDry) offered me Deputy Prime Minister. This would have been my first Cabinet post. Mission: Destroy the haters. It was the time of reston5!
Binda did her best. Every day she raged .. and raged .. and raged some more. Dis and I sat on Skype and reading her rage was like Mozart to an appreciator of classical music. Now this time has passed .. I can say gladly I had no clue what being DPM meant and in my defence Dis wasn't the best communicator when it came to instructions. I did my best and followed orders: go after Binda and Venja. That wasn't hard since I had a PhD in it by this time ROFLCOPTER!
And so it ended.. the next Senate changed the balance of power wildly and H Nelson, another AI antagonist against those who fought against the establishment, became Prime Minister following Discrate's impeachment (another notch for the oldies!).
From memory it was 10 days out until the next election. Not only did we lose the Executive but the ANP went to the Opposition benches in the Senate. Nelson took credit for pulling together all the ground work we laid and made himself sound like King Slick (the word I really wanted to use sounds like that). Some of the Cabinet remained. Majester was retained as Minister of Defence, but most of the Discrate Government either resigned or was fired. I suppose I don't need to tell you which group I fell into? LOL nah .. thought not.
The memory trips up here a bit - I suspect this is where I served out my term in the Senate or was defeated because I can't recall taking much interest for a while.
But then came along Majester (or Timeoin - I think Maj because the order of CPs went Maj - Tim - Maj .. I think?)
.. anyway Majester called me back into the Executive Branch as Director of the Foreign Service. I took over from Klonam (Hyuu) managing the Ambassador Program. To be honest it was the happiest job I ever did. Policy wise we were still in EDEN but were largely independent. Those we call allies today were our enemies (UK, Serbia, NZ, Indo .. yeah some things don't change LOL!) but besides that Majester gave me a clear mandate. He asked me to go abroad and find us good allies and he gave me his authority to commission Ambassadors.
I re-constituted our long-lost Embassy in eItalia. Speaking some Italiano I made good inroads with Riccardo Quarta, the Italian CP at the time. Majester gave sub-cabinet the same power as Ministers to speak in the Cabinet Room. I fought for Italy's addition back into the MPP stack, same as Netherlands. The Minister of Foreign Affairs at the time (forget who they were) didn't want a bar of either. I kept at it. It was my first actual Executive success in the game and forever changed my view that perseverance pays off. Not only was Italy added, but Netherlands was budgeted for in the forward estimates for the next term.
Somewhere in this memory blitz .. Timeoin became Prime Minister anyway. He asked me to stay on as Director of OFS in DoFA, but also promoted me to Deputy Minister of Foreign Affairs. When Timeoin gave me this assignment I knew then my future in e-government would be foreign policy.
Initially I wanted Finance but I realised shortly into Government service that only ever goes to Infin, Venja or Paul Keating - it's just how it is and this is one of this institutional things we all just leave alone.
There were rough times ahead. Indonesia raised their heads again. Timeoin asked me how to proceed and I decided to try for an 'Ace in the Hole'. As a former Ambassador to Indonesia (which I served two terms of at this point) I used my friendships with the Indo regime in the Congressional far-right to negotiate a peace treaty. At that time there was no hope of big military threats. EDEN was at its weakest and getting globally stomped (anywhere but Greece and other parts of Europe where they hoarded power from their Pacific allies) and there was zero chance of a military solution.
I had it right in the palm of my hands! Congressional leaders in Indo were talking it over, I continued to use the local lingo and go RL with some of them to build those friendships...
But it was no use. Our Government didn't want a bar of it. Timeoin was threatened with Senate backlashes and he didn't want to go to the mat. I offered him a way out by laying the blame on me. He did right by me by giving me a serious gig and even though we fought on it he was scared shtless by his own Cabinet (this is where I developed my short temper for disloyal Cabinet members). I took the fall, we co-ordinated how the hate articles were going to go. I resigned in public disgrace.
Months went on and next I was in the APP. I found it a good fit originally, but it wasn't long until I realised they made some hardline institutional mistakes. For instance, the party was never happier that when it was trying to fix sht. In essence, very little was broken. What they wanted was a legacy to look great, seem like they could wield the power of the world in their fingers. 90% likeability was a sin to them - they had to be liked 100.00% of consider yourself trolled with ad hominems.
I didn't have much luck of talking around people with idiotic strategies initially, but I gave it a try. You'd be surprised what happened next..
PhoenixGreen and the Party Caucus selected me as Leader of the APP in the Senate
I was .. gah?! I gave them the biggest boot in their ar$e they ever had and expecting to push the button for telling the truth - they promoted me to the leadership.
But like all other things eRep, this fairy tale wasn't going to last either.
The rise of the ARP
When Molly Jo and Cody Caine arrived in Australia from the United States my first thought was: Evangelical Bible salesmen!
Oddly enough I was both cynical and turned out not far from the mark. They converted people and brought in dozens of overseas cits in the masses. They ascribed to a strong sense of FU to the establishment and for reasons not surpassing my ego at the time there were moments, even in hot debate, I made the 'pulling the chain' gesture under my desk in a sign of solidarity.
The moment my life began and ended: Larni Kaddlestorm (now Daenerys) was elected Prime Minister. She stopped hating me for a bit and after a while she made me her Minister of Foreign Affairs - my first Cabinet position. She was really something. The legend of everything you wanted in a woman, with the strength of 10 x men and the legion of dozens. She commanded with a fist, drenched herself on the battlefield with the blood of her enemies, but caressed those she loved with the stroke of petal against their face. Despite our difficulty past and undoubtedly what was to come - I knew at that moment I would follow her everywhere. I wanted her as much as a man could want a woman.
Right when I was my happiest, my old party sought vengeance. I was QMing for a few friends by supplying them weapons and food in exchange for gold and was permbanned. I appealed and got my account back, which vindicated me as not guilty by eRep in the long run but the damage was done. When I came back, I left the country.
Across the Tasman I went
I was looked after by a fellow I met who introduced himself as Valentyme. Long time bro CrusaderCarl helped me heal up from the long political wars in Australia. It was just before the CP elections. I voted for Xanthar Zaiban, my party's candidate. He was successful. I joined the Peace and Prosperity Party (the English speaking party in NZ at the time) and I joined their affiliated MU (avatar above).
NZ was transitional at the time but still mostly pro-ONE (same as Indo then). I enjoyed watching my Australian frenemies burn. It was a real Darth Bane moment for me. I was the New Zealand Ambassador to Australia for a brief while until the fun wore off.
I met Ronell for the first time. She took great joy whipping me. Little did I know she was good mates with Binda - so I just assumed she was the New Zealand B. Apparently Binda missed me and wanted me back at the drop of a hat. So you know me?
Back to the lucky country
Now I get really blank (plus I'm on my second bottle of red and it's almost out with the bottlo now shut - FARK!)
Binda .. Ronell .. ahh yes.
So anyway I came back. It was business as usual here. XG made another forum update that went blimey tits up something shocking. Database wasn't connecting, SQL errors ahoy. It was like Darkmyre left a trapdoor on Apache to detonate at a later date.
Oddly it didn't matter one bit to me but I remember how fun it was watching the pro-forum bunch get cranky LOL!
Really it was a point on the board for common sense and less role play. I admit I had my fun of it but after a while it gets so old. There's a time for it - and it's not every day unless you're in government.
Brennan for Prime Minister: Poor bastard never stood a chance
This was the time when, after my parties or myself enjoyed long periods in government either in Executive or Senate, I went back to the ANP and buried sht with Mark from the year previous. He was running for Prime Minister and we came up with legit, but nonetheless tactical ideas to try and split the power. It was a completely lost cause battling the ARP but we had to try something. Mark didn't want a negative campaign, but we still needed an edge - something to drive into that mountain.
Goes without saying we lost that campaign. It was a shame because Mark was the epitome of the ANP motto - 'Always been there for eAustralia'. Maybe not of the same height as Ranger .. or Maj .. but he is likeable, known and although not very public - deserved the hearing of someone who had been a round for a long time.
He took the loss on the chin like a real champ. He didn't cry, he didn't leave .. but even more importantly than that - he didn't so much as sigh an utterance of defeat. Like a bloke Tyson went 5 rounds with, bashed the cripes out of .. yet still stood up and demanded the bell rung for the next round. I hand it to the bloke, that's fair dinkum.
The Speakership era
The timeline is skewed as sht at this point .. well and truly .. but since I'm writing this thing - go to buggery champ. LOL jks mate jks
But yeah - this was the part where them oldfags got together and worked out 'eh let's give this prick something to do .. he likes his articles and it keeps him off our tails .. what's the worst that can happen?'
The answer is: It got me known
It was a mixture of past and future eRep way of things that took over here. I had an international rep at this stage via New Zealand but as it's mostly Serbs that can't understand the language it didn't matter a lot. I loved foreign policy but I knew the way to get there was domestic recognition. Everyone hated the forums from General section to Government (Executive, Legislative and Judicial Branch sections) .. including me. BUT it was a vehicle to achieve an end - it got folks together to talk and understand the hearts and minds of others.
The next section is omitted. This was my service as Deputy Prime Minister and Minister for Foreign Affairs in the Binda Government. The reason it has been omitted from mention because it contains crucial events involving current officials of foreign allies. Call it self-censorship.
The XG Government was the next notable administration that blew it all to hell .. I went to the United States and served in the Department of State. Dennis vouched for me and pulled some ears to get me street cred. I met the nicest blokes in Jefferson and Kody5 and Molly (the Feds Molly - not MJ). XG cried I got a job there and spewed all kinds of threats at the US President.
So I came back to bat against the douche once more. Saw him tootle-oo out of the eLodge faster than the speed of lightning.
Sooner or later the Molly Jo Government that came and didn't have the chance it needed to finish .. all of that happened. I was away from the game for all of that. I had a lot of RL going on was >< close to not even wanting to come back. Something did.
Flatty campaigned for CP. We patched old shit up. Things were good. I served for a bit in his DoFA.
In the meantime I went back to the KHMC and was elected PP. Then came the question: How do you successfully convert a military dictatorship to a democratic party?
Pfft .. that was interesting. BUT - the first challenge was getting people in and getting them talking. Again, old comrades Ronny and Lany joined with new player 0tsoa to become my Southern Cross.
I worked with the forum bosses to get the old Coalition Board that housed the KHMC as a child board, to become a standalone parent board (techno biz FTW). TL;DR We small band got discussion happening again. Democratic processes emerged on Senate selection and CP pre-selection.
DISCLAIMER: This is from the previous term under Buzz.
The Senate election was the most successful since Ronny and Schoft's day at the helm. We got the same amount of votes as the APP which had struggled to barely bounce back in the previous month. Although gone from the apparent in the regional vote, the long-forgotten 'wildcard' factor remains.. only now it's under the hood of game mechanics. KHMC got the final laugh - on seniority we drew the wildcard and picked up an 11th Senator. I still feel bad for StanEslah who didn't make it in. He was 12th man .. on a 12 candidate ticket. Nonetheless, we beat the APP after taking years of sht from them and that's what mattered the most.
Back to the Executive Branch
Flatty was running for his third and final term and he presented me with the opportunity to run for I-G. Despite game BS everyone knew I was as clean as my mother's kitchen floor when it came to government responsibility. I was an impartial arbiter as Speaker and everyone around us thought it was a good fit. Even those who didn't like me much seemed to like the idea. I took it. For the first time there was an opportunity to contribute that didn't involve partisan politics. If it wasn't for what was to happen next, I'd still be there.
Binda coughed up some notion that somehow I was 'illegally' elected, saying that Flatty as CP (who had a vote) stacked the I-G vote for his Cabinet (eAus legal note: The election for Inspector-General, until change, was the one position where Cabinet even without being a Senator could vote).
What I think largely precipitated the drama was Sir_Constant and Flatty. To be fair I think SC had some serious questions for Flatty to answer as Prime Minister. However, SC also saw the writing on the wall (to which I personally felt sorry for him 2 years on from the BS he got lumbered with as PM). Back to the present hoohah, we all read between the lines on what Binda's allegation was. Flatty was less polite in his assessment, but having respect for the position of quasi national Justice I offered the Senate my resignation until there sorted out their typical detritus language-wise. Senate wouldn't accept as they deemed it unnecessary.
The moment finally arrived
If there was ever a chance to bring it all home and prove the benefits of my platform, this was it.
I first got the Australian Revolutionary Party within minutes of officially joining. Regardless of recent BS I am still grateful to Nicky as former PP for giving me the shot - he is a champ for that. Once this happened, I saw it appropriate to resign as I-G.
Soon after came the KHMC, then the ANP and unexpectedly - the Reform Party. When I say 'unexpectedly' I mean I barely ever corresponded with Icetek and when I did it probably wasn't nice. But then again .. come to think of it .. when I look back on the past 3 years in the game .. it's not a surprise.
The tenets of the Reform Party are something that I have always represented. A citizen-initiated referenda - one that's driven truly by independent thinking and not by party or hierarchical ladders. I don't agree with everything Icetek and RP stand for, but this had been a key issue of mine for so long and now I had the national advantage to represent it.
Kelly Clarkson's song spoke no more truth than at that moment -
Indeed, some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this
Everything .. the fights .. the scrums .. the diplomatic F offs .. the stars aligning .. it was here. No Venja, no Binda, no XG, not even Majester - and he is someone I do respect to this day - but still none of them could prevent.
There was work to do. 11 days in things were going great. Cabinet member activity rates were mixed and I still suffer a severe lack of Ranger and Flatty has turned male menstruation into an art form. But hey I get the play. Australia needed activity and I've always been good for it. What they don't get is that in this job there is no rewind button. Senate you can fk over dozens of times and still propose another Bill .. as a Minister you can always miss a full stop in a diplomatic or military agreement and do it over. Prime Ministers don't have that luxury.
I am proud to stand as someone of Maori and Aboriginal heritage and take temporary custodianship of this, my people's digital land. I've made mistake .. I'll no doubt make more. It all depends how genuine my fellow Australians are from those who are in a position to help and want to see their country do well. If knocking on me is their definition of success while the rest of the country suffers, narrow vision and lack of respect for others they have.
This much is true. I can and will turn this around. Why? I'm Mick Gatto in game spirit and TJ in RL life. Both have been through hell and know how to make it out. People say I'm an angry person. That's simply not true. How can I prove that? Easily - I have Asperger's Syndrome. In the high functioning range of Autism, I am both clumsy and directed, extremely intelligent yet typically slow processing, poorly communicative yet always want to express thoughts as they come.
Whatever time left I am granted in the Office of Prime Minister, if there's anything I want to accomplish, is more respect for people of brilliance and people who are legitimately downtrodden. For lack of a better distinction: anyone other than the oldfags and those who subscribe to them. This has nothing to do with game strategy or politics - it's a manipulation of mind and emotion. Regardless of my revolt against their attempts to constrain me, it is a welcome coincidence that my condition prohibits it occurring in any event.
"Invictus" is a short Victorian poem by the English poet William Ernest Henley (1849–1903). It was held dear by anti-apartheid revolutionary (and my personal and political hero) Nelson Mandela during most of his 27-year term of political imprisonment.
This explains who I am and why I live, even when all is said, I should have not:
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
Thanks for the first three years. Laughter, pause, tears - here's to another.
P.S. Don't be like that twat Venja and put our stat with Poland at risk in Indonesia. You would think a former Prime Minister would know better than to go against official orders. http://img11.imageshack.us/img11/107/2xig.png
What is this?You are reading an article written by a citizen of eRepublik, an immersive multiplayer strategy game based on real life countries. Create your own character and help your country achieve its glory while establishing yourself as a war hero, renowned publisher or finance guru.