How to Suck at eConomics / איך למצוץ במהירות לכלכלה

Day 1,120, 18:15 • Published in Israel USA • by Joshua Hoss


{sarcasm}





How To Suck At eConomics

Gather around people of eIsrael and listen as I, oh master of instruction, teach you how to become a master of crappy eConomics. Sit and enjoy as I guide you step by step on how to cause people great financial stress and trouble. I promise you this is as easy as it sounds. Most of eIsrael is already on this level, you don’t want to be left out.... do you?





Suck by Suck (err... Step by step)

Suck Step #1. Open up a raw material company in eIsrael. Why you say? Why not I say! We have absolutely no raw materials here in eIsrael so it makes perfect sense! Who wouldn’t want to slave away month after month trying to make grain appear out of air. I can’t imagine a better way to spend time and money! Forget about those “foreign” places you hear about with their vast grain fields, oil reserves, or iron mines. Those things are not for the good eIsraeli businessman.

Suck Step #2. Increase the import tax. On everything. Taxes are the bomb yo! We need higher taxes so when the next person steals our treasury we can have an easier time tracking it down! The more gold there is to steal the more there is to find, right? When we increase our import tax we also keep those evil “foreign” critters away from our mighty markets. We don’t want them stinking up things with their cheap raw materials that our own companies might buy up!

Suck Step #3. Don’t export anything. We want everything to stay in eIsrael. We make our own grain out of thin air, so shouldn't the food created by that grain go towards our own hard workers? We don’t want those evil “foreigners” eating our “air bread”! Let them starve! And any gold we could bring in by selling to those “foreigners” would probably smell anyway.

Suck Step #4. Complain about the prices of things. Oh, and complain about the lack of government funds. We know it isn’t going to be your fault. You created a raw material company that makes things from thin air, increased taxes, and sold only to eIsrael! You are a national hero! Someone else has to be at fault for this...

Suck Step #5. Blame anyone who opposes these steps for any “high prices” or “government shortfalls”. People who talk about economics are lying snakes. They have to be, they tell people to do the opposite of what you have done! Obviously if they don’t follow you they must be evil!

Suck Step #6. Gain political power to ensure the spread of these steps. You should want other people to follow your glorious path! So to seem even more important you should gain political power. I know, it makes too much sense! An eConomic guro AND political protege?!?!? No way! That is a win-win!

Follow these simple 6 steps and you are bound to have success!

{/sarcasm}





Seriously Though

How can a country with a rich cultural history as our be this stupid regarding the economy module of this game? Seriously guys, you want to INCREASE the taxes on something we can’t make efficiently here? Won’t that mean the prices of that product will go up, which will raise the prices of anything that uses that product?

It seems to me like this country is full of stupid business owners. Stupid because these owners refuse to think intelligently. An intelligent person would create a raw materials company in an area that gives them the largest chance for success, not one that gives it no benefit. An intelligent person would bring those goods to a country that lacks them. An intelligent person would recognize that some countries are good for raw materials, others for manufacturing, and capitalize on those findings. An intelligent person would not abuse their political power to screw up an entire countries economic tax plan.

I think intelligent business owners are lacking here...