How to Integrate Your Group into the eUSA

Day 1,177, 15:34 • Published in USA USA • by Blank Keating
While the following article is a notch below serious, something else is super serious. Go show some love for our president Mizu while he goes through a rough time.

Also, sub Goalie's paper to keep up with the acting president's adventures.



I'm sorry, America. Your fifth party...it's not going to make it. I'm afraid...SEES is no more.


SEES' office in Florida falls to the ground.

A cloud is looming over us. A cloud of uncertainty. INCI, an economical and political citizen group welcomed into our borders, are about to overtake the newly Sailor Moon-themed, Emerickless SEES and join the hollowed ranks of the political elite.

Our own forums are abuzz with people wondering what we shall do with our upcoming top 5 party. No party has breached the existing top 5 in several months. The prevailing sentiment is quickly becoming to welcome our new INCI overlords.

As such, I have decided to help them assimilate into our society on my own volition. Following these 5 handy dandy tips, any group in the world will be able to successfully call themselves eAmericans.

5. Join our offline society.



You don't know eAmerica until you get on our forums and IRC channels. As such, eAmerica won't recognize you until you do. It means you're dead to us.

All of our business is done on the forums, from normal discussion to super secret Executive meetings. Showing up on our forums means you're interested in talking with us, and gets you clout in our community on it's own. Post some quality posts and you'll be accepted as one of us in no time.

4. Get ready to campaign.



All five top five parties must work with the FEC (or Federal Election Commission) to ensure 100% blocker coverage during every congressional election period. If this isn't done, our country immediately becomes at risk for PTO. Since INCI is signing up to become a top 5 party, it will be their prerogative to uphold that tradition, like we would expect from any American party.

INCI got a unique deal last month, which was one congress seat gets handed to them for their presence here. Whether this continues into the next month or not, or if other groups would get the same deal is up for debate. Nevertheless, all parties must eventually face an honest election process, including running blockers and organizing congress candidates themselves.

3. Be prepared to have your sexuality called into question.



As many Americans have said, everyone is a fag. Some are milfags, some are polifags, and some are fagfags. Our country is extremely insecure about where our collective phallus goes, so suffixing everyone with fag is a common practice with many prominent Americans. Be prepared to be called a homo, and don't take it personally.

2. Access is a privilege, use it correctly.



If someone invites you to a secret chatroom, don't tell everyone what happened there. If you get in congress, don't use your citizenship grants without asking the immigration commission. If you become a moderator of a channel or subforum, don't start banning everyone. If you get an official paper, don't knock the DoD orders out of the top 5.

All groups get special access of some sort over their lifetime. Make sure you show basic manners and you'll have it for months to come.

1. Eat cheeseburgers and stand ready to kill redcoats.



Law of the land. No exceptions.

Welcome to America!

Until next time,