Have a laugh :)

Day 1,235, 14:37 • Published in USA Poland • by code0011

With all the hullabaloo with the military and congress, and people forgetting that this is just a game, I decided that we all need to lighten up, so here is a collection of jokes that I find funny, and hope you do too.


Two men working in a factory were talking, 'I know how to get some time off,'said one. 'How are you going to do that?' 'Watch,'he said, and climbed up onto a rafter. When the foreman arrived and asked what he was doing up there, the man replied, 'I'm a light bulb'.' 'I think you need some time off,' the foreman said, and the first man walked out of the factory. After a moment, the second man followed him. 'Where do you think you're going?' the foreman shouted. 'Well, I sure can't work in the dark!' he replied.

What do you call the girl on a trombone players arm?

A tattoo.

In the beginning the universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.

How do you make holy water?

Boil the hell out of it.

Why do the French like snails?

Because they don't taste like fast food.

I drink beer to celebrate major events, such as the fall of communism, or the fact that our refrigerator is still working.

When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a driveway.

To avoid scalding your hands in hot water, feel the water first before putting your hands in.

You know your Amish child is going off the rails when...

> He sometimes stays in bed after 5 a.m.
> In his sock drawer, you find pictures of women without bonnets.
> His name is Jebediah, but he goes by 'Jeb Daddy'
> He wears his big black hat backwards.
> You come upon his secret stash of colored socks

Drugs: Accomplish your dreams

Pupil: I don't think I deserve zero for this work.
Teacher: Me neither, but it was the lowest I could give

7/5 of all school-children don't understand fractions

I think I'll skip English tomorrow. There are just certain aspects of Moby I just don't want to know about.

What's black and white all over and difficult?

An exam paper.

I hope you got a few lols out of this, maybe even a lmao. It doesn't take much to shout out an article, and even less to vote and subscribe one.