Happy Wednesday (01/25/12)

Day 1,527, 12:50 • Published in USA USA • by Levif92


Happy Wednesday everyone! Glad to see so much support and so many new subscribers! I was just in the low 80s this weekend and we're at 125 mid-week. Thanks to everyone who has made this possible! Enjoy!

Fun Fact of the Day:
First, in response to a reader's question pertaining the oddities pertaining to the fact yesterday I have done a little research


The king of hearts is the only king without a mustache. Also, if you notice, he is holding his sword in a manner that appears he is stabbing himself in the back/about to stab himself. A reader recalled that there were oddities in one of the queens and one of the jacks. The best research I have been able to do offers a simple explanation: Bad copying. The king of hearts had a mustache in the original standard deck of English cards. The same research claims that any other oddities found in any of the other figures can be attributed to the same reasoning. However, a theory does exist for why the king of hearts is 'stabbing himself.' Some historians speculate that the four kings actually represented real people: King David (Biblical), Alexander the Great, Julius Caesar, and Charlemagne. It is thought that Julius Caesar is represented in the king of hearts. Given that Caesar was betrayed and assassinated by sword by 'his own,' the image of his own sword stabbing himself makes perfect sense when seen through a figurative lens. Thank George Armstrong Custer for giving me the reason to research this further!

Every time you lick a stamp, you're consuming 1/10 of a calorie.


Quote of the Day:
"People used to explore the dimensions of reality by taking LSD to make the world look weird. Now the world is weird and they take Prozac to make it look normal."
-Bangstrom

Comic of the Day:
This comic made me laugh so much...I just had to use it

Alexander Roderick IV edited this comic and placed it in his paper, The Eagle Republik
Check it out, read, vote, and sub.

Optical Illusion of the Day:
Stare 30-40 seconds at the nose and then look at a wall. Blinking helps.

This one's dedicated to PtH...He's made it pretty clear how he feels about the guy in the optical illusion.

What's Going On:

1.Pizza the Loser


So...let me explain this whole situation for those of you who only come out from under your rock just to read my paper.
1.Pizza wanted to run for Congress
2.Pizza snuck in to run for Congress in Galicia
3.Everyone tells him to pull out (funny...pizza's mom told me the same)
4.He says no
5.Everyone threatens to beat him (again...pizza's mom)
6.He threatens to have Serbia fight for him to keep Galicia in the US
7.Everyone starts off strong in the battle (I start off strong with his mom)
8.I get battle hero while beating the US side down (and his mom)
9.Serbia crashes the party (they didn't bring condoms)
10.Galicia is still under US control
11.World panics that Pizza will get congress
12...yet to come... (again...with his mom)

I'm trying to be funny about this and all but on a side note I just want to throw it out there: Pizza sucks ass. I'm a newb and am already tired of his BS. Honestly, he makes newbies want to quit. No one wants to swing on the swings when the asshole bully is on them. Pizza: you are an ass...and you are on my swing set...

I just want to swing god dammit.

Update: Stop sweating bullets everyone, pizza's off the ballot.
He's still on my swing though...

2.Mexico


Mexico is attempting to establish a new Taco Bell in the Valley of Mexico region. A success here would bring the chain's total to 3 restaurants!

3.Fuck the milk carton's...this shit's getting old


Where's Britain at? No one cares anymore. They served their purpose in letting us wipe Serbia, at least for a little while. About that...

4.Italy/Serbia


Italy:
Italy needs to take it's boot to the doctor: I think there's an infection in there; the green's spreading all over.


Serbia:
Serbia is back, but not as zombies. Just as annoying pizza supporters. Yes folks, pizza supporters...way worse then zombies. At least some of the zombies are attractive.

5.Poland


Poland switched to the Q6 tanks to avoid the problems they had with the Conestoga Wagons. However, they seem to have run into similar problems and their efforts to move west in search of gold have come to a halt.

I don't know how they're gonna fix this one.

That's All Folks!

Thanks for reading everyone! Hope you enjoyed it. Please read, vote, sub, and shout! Happy Wednesday!

Recommended Readings:
-Revolutionary Times
-Kooguy's Fire
-Eagle Republic News
-High Times
-The Halfling Times
-The Frontline News
-The Pony Express Daily


Recommended Votes for Congress:

-Kooguy in Koolabama
-Cody Caine in WV
-Jude Connors in the Rockies
-HEARMERAWR in Midi-Pyrenees
-Tyler Reynolds in Arkansas