Fungasms: Why America is falling short

Day 419, 19:11 • Published in USA USA • by Nathan Woods

Are the United States too serious?
I think so.

Remember at the beginning of Operation: French Toast?
We were kicking French pansy asses. Why you ask?
Fungasms.

The United States has recently gone down in a giant 75% slope of fungasms recently.
Why you ask again?
First, may I ask you, why do you ask stupid questions?
Second, it's because we are much, much, much too serious.

Granted, there is a line where you must be serious, but we have passed the giant wall in front of that line, approximately seventy miles north of the Canadian border. There comes a time, when we must be serious to accomplish things, but really...why so serious?
There can be a happy medium, with nobody yelling at you to get off their lawn! Yes, that's right. There is still hope for our proud nation.

First off, the Department of Fun, (DoF), should be called from here and the (DoF), or the Department of Fungasms. I know this may seem radical now, but believe me it can, and will work, as long as we start NOW.

Second, more people should join forums, as well as our IRC.

Last, the use of fungasms most be used often. Our rate of 1 fungasm/person/month is not good enough! We must step up efforts to save this once fungasmed nation!

Thank you for your time America. Hopefully this tragic problem will soon be heard, and fixed as soon as possible.

- Nathan Woods

DISCLAIMER: The Patriot Today is in no way responsible for any deaths or injuries by cause of fungasm.