From The Libertarian Bulletin: My, My, America is Beautiful

Day 1,099, 20:59 • Published in USA USA • by Dave Richards
This article was written by me, originally posted in The Libertarian Bulletin. If you were truly a sex bomb, you'd v/s both articles/papers.

Hullo America. You’re looking mighty good today.


Yup, America is looking great

We’re doing a great job with our Congressional freeze – protecting America from enemies who want to OMNOMNOMNOM democracy. (Nyet, nyet, Russia!)

Arm America’s return is going very smoothly. More and more young Americans can go OMNOMNOM to our enemies.

Our president is a kommie squirrel. OMNOMNOM. enemies. (Okay, this paragraph is here just to keep the pattern. Sue me.)

America would be a lot more beautiful if Dougie Flare would doodle a dougie. But meh. Life goes on.

The last week has been beautiful, indeed. But there’s a bigger reason why life has been glorious. It’s thanks to a major boost of sexy: the Libertarian Party.

Yes, America, the sexy Libs have returned in full force. Thanks to our glorious party president, Iasov, the Libertarian Party has been reborn in all its sexiness. Indeed, within a mere week, the party has already established a formidable leadership team of Iasov, Deleruin, and Claire Littleton. The trio has done quite the job doing its part as a top 5 party in the Congressional freeze.

As well, Media Director CRoy – that sexy writer, y’all know him – has put together this awesome Writer’s Guild. Prestigious. Sexy. I’m in it.

So yeah. If you join the Libertarian Party, you get three things:

1) Claire. That should be enough in itself.
2) The chance to join a prestigious league of writers that will garner you lots of votes, ‘long as you keep writing.
3) Sexy pictures.
4) Deleruin, for all the homos.
u c wut i did thar

Teach me how to dougie,