From Spain with love: How Portugal declared war to USA

Day 1,029, 02:39 • Published in Portugal Spain • by El Bombero de la Manguera

This is the story about how the President and his ministers serously decided to lauch an attack against USA. I hope you enjoy it.


Yesterday, 8:00 am. Portugal's Headquarter.

President: What do we have today?
Minister: Uh... coffee, I suppose. Nothing else.
President: Nothing? Again? There must be something...
Minister: No, nothing... well, just peace.
President: What? PEACE came back???
Minister: No, sorry, I mean... no war, only peace, nothing else to do.
President: Ah... ok... I'll go have a shower, I guess.

9:00 am.

Minister *looking at some CD's that were in a box attached with "TOP SECRET" in red*: Jeez, I already saw all my pr0n collection...
MoFA *coming in*: Hey, dude, something interesting to do?
Minister: No, nothing.

1:00 pm.

Minister of Defense, MoFA and the President are eating a sandwich.

3:00 pm.

President: Aww... why nothing EVER happens in this country. I am bored...
Minister: Hell yeah. Let's do something... why don't we drink all the whisky in the minibar?
President: HELL YEAH!

5:00 pm.

MoFA comes in: Hey guys, what are you doing?
Both: Drinking alcohol, come join, son of a biatch.
MoFA: Hehe, well, I suppose there is nothing else to do.

7:00 pm:

[...]
President: You imagine *hic* what could be Portugal? We could *hic* completely DESTROY our neighbours.
MoFA: Hell yeah! And take all their fu**ing whisky.
Minister of Defense: Or we could invade Russia and have vodka.
President: But they are allies...
MoFA: Who cares??? You have no balls or what?
President: No, I do, but...
Minister of Defense *doing chicken sounds*.
President: Bring me some rum with cola and shut up.
[...]

9:00 pm:

[...]
President: And what are we DOING?
MoFA: INVADING RUSSIA.
President: And how are we DOING IT?
Minister of Defense: By attacking through USA!
All: Hell yeah, we will crush them to make a corridor to Russia. HAIL VODKA

10:00 pm:

President: Ok, ... you... *hic*. Where the hell is that button...
MoFA: Here Sir, but I see 3 buttons.
Minister of Defense: Ohh, fu**. Ya know *hic* which is the correct?
President: Nope... but maybe some Tequila will *hic* help me find the solution.
MoFA: HELL YEAH!

11:00 pm:

President: Ok, no worries. Imma push all the buttons. All of THEM *hic*.
MoFA: President, I love you, you aaaare my best friend. And I do nooot say this 'couse I'm drunk as hell.








The rest is history. BTW, Portugal, you rock, with 2 big balls. First USA and then TO RUSSIA 😃