Friday's Daily Dose

Day 2,551, 03:53 Published in United Kingdom United Kingdom by Nights0ul

Potpourri



If I were a cop, I'd look for an excuse to arrest a mime just so I could tell them they had the right to remain silent.

--Holly Yael Black



Jokes

My father-in-law was an airborne controller for Strategic Air Command.
Translation: He's the guy who decided which target to attack and how.

But my husband didn't quite know how to explain that to our six-year-old son. Instead, he said that his father had flown in airplanes.

"Did he fly the planes?" our son asked.

"No"

"So he was the one who handed out the pretzels?"

-o-o-o-o-

" My wife is the most suspicious woman in the world ", complained Morris, the harried husband to a sympathetic friend.

Last year she found a blond hair on my jacket and she didn't speak to me for a week. Six months ago she said there was a red hair near my shirt collar... and there was no s*x for a month.

" That's not so bad "...said the friend.

"Oh yeah", said Morris, "Yesterday she beat me over the head with a pan, screaming and claiming because she found no hairs in six months...
that I am now going out with bald women!"

-o-o-o-o-

The administration now has a name for the war against ISIS. Every military operation has to have a name so people can get behind it, and they now have a name for the war against ISIS .. it's called Operation Hillary's Problem.

-o-o-o-o-

A guy accidentally fed Viagra to his pet snake and now it's a cane.