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EXCLUSIVE: THE MAN BEHIND THE MASK WITH BOB BLOGGS

Day 1,881, 10:01 by Prof. J Moriarty

I like to think that the last election gave us three things: an interesting race, a BigAnt victory, and most importantly, the eUK's most promising politician in the history of Erepublik's emergence onto the national scene. For that is when Bob Bloggs burst onto the scene like a rabid gazelle, quickly garnishing the support of the masses in his all-consuming conquest to third position. It was a promising start, so promising that we here at Scandalous decided it was time to both interview him and compile a necessary factfile.


Non-rabid Gazelle. THE ELEGANCE!

FACT-FILE

1. Bob Bloggs won't be running for presidency this month.

This is sure to delight the opposition, who will now be minus one opponent who could most likely have won, but his many supporters (of which this reporter was one) are almost certain to be so disappointed . When I asked him whether or not he would be running again, he had this to say: "No, I've been given more responsibilities within my party and I don't wish to put too much on my plate." However he also added, when I asked him if he had a message to his voters, "there weren't many- but thankyou for those who voted ".


Typical Bob Blogg's supporter reaction

2. There is a long running feud between him and some of the PCP.

Although I didn't personally delve into this subject, it is a well known fact that Bloggs is a commie basher. If you didn't know this, you do now.

3. He is a spokesman for the Great British Democratic Party, or GBDP.

I asked him how his party differs from that of the others. Although he refused to originally answer this question, he did eventually give this reply (with added Scandalous analysis):

"Okay, I feel that we are much friendlier and welcoming to our members than the bigger parties are and were- i now of this from past experience."

Analysis: See those big parties, I don't like them.

We are a closely knit group that work together and support each other to reach our common goals.

Analysis: There are four or five of us active who occasionally talk on the party feed about the big parties.

We have created a strong infrastructure within and therefore have good capabilities to expand and to adjust to situations.

We are just like any other small party

Our beliefs to other parties tend to be friendly and non-aggressive unless we're very strongly opinionated on the subject and we aim to forgive and forget the historical grievances between our parties

Damn we hate those commies.

4. His brother is the celebrity Joe Bloggs.

When we enquired as to the nature of this person Bob had this to say: "He is a mysterious fellow who moves around a lot and is in everyone's mind when they're not thinking straightly"

5. He has no knowledge in the use of common farm animals organs in the event of natural disasters.

The Real Spamicans gave me the question for Bob of asking him of "how sheep's bladders may be employed to prevent earthquakes?", to which he replied that he, and I quote, "Won't answer jibber jabber". It was at this point that the interview turned nasty, and I admit to maybe attempting an attack on him.


Reconstruction

Later on we returned to the subject, after things calmed down and he had outlined his parties aims. Here is my notes:

Reporter: However, your belief that you have to be non-aggressive to other parties is clearly been proven wrong in this interview - I refer of course to your description of the Real Spamicans legitamite question which you inferred was, and I quote, "jibber jabber". Any thoughts on this point?

Bob: i wasn't describing the party with that quote which was taken out of context- the party wasn't described in such a manner. I felt that it was a silly question and so didn't give you an answer- what do bladders have to do with an electoral interview?


6. This man was very rude, and I told him this to his face.

Here are some of his highlights:

"i won't answer jibber jabber"
why are you asking me a continuous streams of questions you're not getting more out of me....
when i signed up i expected a trickle of questions not a tsunami!

a silly question

All in all I have decided that this man is not the man that he portrayed to the public, and that thus the public should know.

However, we admire his raw potential and power, and if say I would ever run for presidency I would happily consider Bob Bloggs for my cabinet.


You may not agree, but damn does he have ferocity and eagerness.

Do you agree that Bob Bloggs is a hero?
Do you think however that his attack on the Real Spamicans was uncalled for?
Do you think he should be burned at the stake?
Can white towels go in the wash with red socks?

Answer below in the comments.

 

Comments

Thedark ace
Thedark ace Day 1,881, 10:29

Gave me a smile, great article, I look forward to more : )

Horice G Fossil
Horice G Fossil Day 1,881, 10:36

I hear he's also a rather randy fellow!

Horice q:

Sambo112
Sambo112 Day 1,881, 10:43

Bob is the Mark Cavendish of the eUK...says what he thinks to the media

and your questions...i have answers

1. YES
2. YES
3. YES
4. YES

what were the questions? i'm just in a YES mood

CptChazbeard
CptChazbeard Day 1,881, 11:07

1 YES
2 YES
3 YES
4 DON'T WASH MINE SO NO COMMENT

Great interview. Finally see inside the mind of a political beast. Shame he wouldn't open up about the sheep's bladders, makes me wonder if that's a scandal in the waiting!

Ando Calrissian
Ando Calrissian Day 1,881, 13:11

Boblo loses points for not responding with, "quit yo' jibber-jabber, fool". This man is obviously not cut out to be a president.

lancer450
lancer450 Day 1,881, 13:31

lol'd

1. YES
2. YES
3. YES
4. YES

Invalidation
Invalidation Day 1,881, 13:35

yesyesyesno!

mick cain
mick cain Day 1,881, 13:44

1.yes
2.yes
3.yes
4.no,only blue socks go with white
red and white makes a girlie pink colour

Bob Bloggs
Bob Bloggs Day 1,882, 09:05

I'm glad you published an article on me but i have to disagree about the rudeness- i wasn't in a good mood when i answered some questions

Elle Roslin
Elle Roslin Day 1,882, 19:13

Kevin repents

 
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