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EXCLUSIVE: ATTACK ON NORWAY ACTUALLY A DIVERSION

Day 1,886, 14:23 Published in United Kingdom United Kingdom by Prof. J Moriarty

There has been much hee-hawing on the eUK forums (Yes, IT EXISTS) over the recent attack of Norway by BigAnt, supposedly under the reason that the sell-by date was almost about to expire on all those bombs or missiles or whatever fancy doo-dahs they were.

But in a shocking turn of events, it has been revealed by this very newspaper, that is right, this one you are reading, that the attack was all a diversion so that BigAnt's party's MU, the Royal Navy, could sneak in and capture eighties pop band and jam enthusiasts A-Ha.


Artists impression of lead singer, Morten Harket, believed to be on the USS Griffin.

Why, you may ask, would we needlessly invade a country only to steal a pop band who have not been popular since the late eighties? Well, we have that very reason right here. For BigAnt is hoping for a third consecutive term in office, and for this he needs a catchy song that will win him the support of the masses. Perhaps like Take on Me?


Wrong A-Ha, you fool!

In what was called the biggest under-cover military operation since the overthrowing of the Chav Imposter Jamesw, an unnamed UKPP general led a covert attack on the villa where the band were practising for an upcoming album. Silently killing the guards, the army then proceeded to snatch the group and their instruments, and throw them on a helicopter straight back to the carrier lying in wait in the Baltic Sea.


President of Canada reacts to news of A-Ha invasion

However, this drastic move has angered members of EDEN, particularly Canada, with whom A-Ha was meant to perform at the next meeting of EDEN representatives. Canada have launched an attack on British soil in an attempt to regain their Norwegian heroes, and France are also reported to be angered by the capture.


Personally, us at Scandalous applaud the efforts of UKPP to bring A-Ha tou our fair nation, but was this really the way to do it?

Wasn't their another way?
If so, what?
Isn't A-Ha's Take on Me one of the greatest songs of all time?
Do I put paper in the brown or blue bin?


As usual, answer in the comments below.

 

Comments

Che Kukaken
Che Kukaken Day 1,886, 15:35

LoL and voted!

Invalidation
Invalidation Day 1,886, 16:32

No
n/a
Yes
Brown

Ardikus V2
Ardikus V2 Day 1,886, 17:19

"However, this drastic move has angered members of EDEN, particularly Canada"

Canada isn't EDEN.

Fun read otherwise.

WayneKerr
WayneKerr Day 1,886, 18:53

Yes
Could have asked nicely
Quite possibly
I'll go with blue

CptChazbeard
CptChazbeard Day 1,887, 03:36

Yes
Offered A-Ha 10Gold
Meh
Depends on county. Blue here.

Your investigative journalism shines through yet again, you must have some sources deep in government!

Alphabethis
Alphabethis Day 1,887, 06:58

the sun always shine on tv.

Kazami Yuuka
Kazami Yuuka Day 1,887, 08:07

simply priceless~ v

Horice G Fossil
Horice G Fossil Day 1,887, 10:53

Yes, yes there was!

eUK politicians are like slinkies; not really good for anything but
they bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs !

I much prefer Joni Mitchell, especially Big Yellow Taxi, a song
in which she complains that they 'paved paradis to put up a
parking lot' - a measure which actually would have alleviated
traffic congestion on the outskirts of paradise. Something which
Joni singularly fails to point out, perhaps because it doesn't quite
fit in with her blinkered view of the world. Nevertheless, nice song."

Neither!

Horice (:

Elle Roslin
Elle Roslin Day 1,887, 17:14

This article is as ironic as the famed song by Canadian chanteuse/singer (in Canada it is appropriate to be bilingual wherever and whenever possible) Alanis Morissette

She should be lauded for her singing capacity considering that her head consists of two discrete halves

 
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You are reading an article written by a citizen of eRepublik, an immersive multiplayer strategy game based on real life countries. Create your own character and help your country achieve its glory while establishing yourself as a war hero, renowned publisher or finance guru.