Everyday Despair: 1 [Employment] [pre-V1 Archive]

Day 288, 05:09 • Published in Japan Japan • by Laurana Psion

Just the other day, as soon as I came of age, I did my bit for eJapan. Or at least I tried to; I searched for a job! After reading up on it, I found that the whole process is so very straight forward! All I had to do is submit my CV to a database of job applicants and then wait.


And I did. I grew anxious. As minute after minute passed, so did my anticipation of playing a part in the impressive eJapanese economy (I mean 0.55% inflation. Not even the so-called top three countries can even claim that!). To ease myself, I gnawed on some cardboard I had at hand. But after several hours, despair set in.

"Where's my job?" "I need some income blast it!" "Did that grumpy old fool of a clerk actually get my CV posted or confuse it with toilet paper?" "What if I don’t get a job!" "Did I have enough food to survive on in the mean time?" "Why the devil do I have cardboard on me?" "...?" "Oh carp!"

That chewing material was actually my "food". I only had enough food for four more days as it was and I had somehow destroyed more than half of it in an afternoon of anxiety! I... I might... I'd starve.I rushed back to the office to check the list of CVs and found an incredibly sight! Although yes, my CV was there, so were those of many others! Some more qualified than myself and seeking a salary just as high or less than what I desired! Blood rushed to my head, making me reel. I thought to myself; "I've got to do something, something to make sure my application gets picked". Heh. You know what I did? I'll tell you what I did; I fainted. TKO.

At this point I must have uttered some sort of tortured groan or caused a crumpling noise when my body cascaded onto the ground as I soon found myself coming to on a rather comfy couch. A fellow jobseeker there had heard a noise and ran to it, only to find my sorry self laid out on the carpet. Unlike myself, he had simply tired of his last job saying he wasn't getting anyway anytime soon. After hearing my tale he laughed aloud. "My friend, just do what I do and it'll go much easier".

I sent a personal message straight to my desired workplace just as advised and sure enough, I got a job offer soon after. My first choice too! It was the very same day I became a true citizen of this fair land (although much later). Isn't that just wonderful? It felt great! I still do! I can even afford better quality food now! Food that doesn't have the consistency and nutritional value of cheap packaging and isn't just fodder to stop my stomach acids from digesting myself. Amazingly, it even seems to make me feel better somehow!
I.N. [I.N. is your fiendly[sic] daily life correspondent. He enjoys a good bout of paranoia and hyperventilation and is a legend/miracle simply due to the fact that he is still somehow alive and breathing today. - Laurana Psion]