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New York City, eNY - After decades of pig repression, the ban on the purchase of moving tickets by pigs has finally been lifted.

Officials say this step was a long time coming, and that they were highly influenced by a pig lobbyist who used to live in a straw house.

“There was a big bad wolf in the area. I wanted to get away, but I couldn’t, due to the ban. My house was made of straw, my brother’s was made of wood, and the wolf was easily able huff and puff and blow our houses in. We had to live with my other brother in his brick house, and he charged us egregious rent! I’m so glad to finally get out of this area.”

We reached a big bad wolf, also known as Citizen Dru, congressional candidate for New York State, for comment. “Pigs should not buy moving tickets. Pigs should stay put, because they are food and they are delicious.”

Fred Zilla said something, but is too unimportant to warrant any quotes in this article.

In other news, the new Library of Congress miraculously appeared today, finished. Nobody knows quite how it happened, as there was never anyone on the job site, and no work appeared to go on at any time.