Declaration of War [ANA]
Day 2,116, 15:32
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Published in South Africa 
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by
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by Marmaduke IV
Tom and Jerry, Christians and Jews, the United States and communists, Luke Skywalker and Kahn. Since the beginning of time, there have always been wars waged that go on for eternity. Wars that continue today. Today I am announcing a new war. One which will not end until the enemy has surrendered. Today the African National Alliance declares war on the People's Front of South Africa, AKA the PFSA or "Popular Douchebags" as they like to be called. Their socialist agenda has begun to stink of almonds and now is the time to amputate this gangrene on eSA that is the PFSADBPF.
We ask that you lay down arms and line up single file facing a wall so that we may process you in a timely manner. A wise man once said "Bend over and touch your toes, something something something, anal."
We also declare victory in this war. As of the writing of this article, the ANA candidate currently leads the socialist puppet by 4 votes. A heft margin indeed.
You may keep the populist charade up if you want to, but it's only a matter of time until people realize that Claudio is in your party. He's what I would call less of a "People's Front" and more of a "People's Rear". Or "Popular Rear" *wink wink*
Nothing can stop the bloodshed that is to come in the following months. Except maybe a beer. But I digress. Check mate and play ball, my friends. Your end is near.
~The Honorable Arch Bishop Dr. Marmaduke Exilious Alphonso IV, Sr, OB/GYN
Parliament of eSouth Africa
Party President of the African National Alliance
Deputy Minister of Foreign Affairs
Deputy Minister of Finance
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Comments
Why would there be bloodshed if you already declared that you won?
Because they may eat us up, but ultimately we are like the thickest fattiest Beef steak that is impossible to pass. The Hemorrhoids will be disgusting by the time they are done.
Lol Marma!
"Nothing can stop this..."
Except maybe a beer (or two, or five) 🙂
Keep trying
What is the PFSA going to say...
We don't take Marmaduke/Exilious seriously. The only responses he will get when we are done laughing will be jokes making fun of him.
Lol
I have the weirdest boner right now...
We will consider dropping the mandatory wearing of underwear on the outside and making Esperanto the official language from our mission statement if it gets us more votes. I doubt it though, from what we gather these two are core issues for Average Jan.
Cool story, bro.
Will you disappear when you fail like you did the last time you tried to fight our predecessors?
Oh and thanks for the free advertising. It's just unfortunate that you don't have more subscribers.
Once a troll; always a troll.
You leave me no choice but to leave the party.
I don't want to talk to your party no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!!
Thou shall banish thy milk from thy mother, and drop it on the floor.
Is that a Kanye song?
No. I only listen to classical music. And occasionally other musically challenged noises too. But never such an aberrant thing.