Cows and politics - Explained
Lorcema
A CHRISTIAN DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor.
A SOCIALIST: You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
AN AMERICAN REPUBLICAN: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So what?
AN AMERICAN DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You vote people into office who tax your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then take the tax money and buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous.
A COMMUNIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
A FASCIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and sells you the milk. You join the underground and start a campaign of sabotage.
DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift from your government.
CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.
BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, then pours the milk down the drain.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.
A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them World-Wide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
A BRITISH CORPORATION: You have two cows. They are mad. They die. Pass the shepherd's pie, please.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.
A BRAZILIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You enter into a partnership with an American corporation. Soon you have 1000 cows and the American corporation declares bankruptcy.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You worship both of them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported on them.
AN ISRAELI CORPORATION: There are these two Jewish cows, right? They open a milk factory, an ice cream store, and then sell the movie rights. They send their calves to Harvard to become doctors. So, who needs people?
A JAMAICAN CORPORATION: really? a jamaican corporation? you are too high, bro.
A PTOers CORPORATION: You have one cow, but it speaks a different language, so you start to create clones. Finally, nobody believes that you have cows.
Comments
old sh1t but still being good e.e
HAHAHAHAHA!
lol
HAIL ARGENTINA
HAIL BELGIUM
IN THE BALKANS: You have no cows, your neighbor has two. You are praying every day that the cows will drop dead. 😛
hahaha 😃
This is so true! Lorcema you can add this as well 🙂
ma znam bre ja sam naš zato mi i smešno lol
voted 😁
eRep version : Only a few countries have any cows, but everyone gets headless chicken for lunch.
This is so old that it makes MQ look like a teenager.
You should feel bad.
She is a teenager, or she lied to me 😉
She was a teenager... back when Lincoln was still fighting the south.
Why are you discriminating against people who are older than you? It is just as lame as you attacking my homosexuality a while back. You are low beyond low. Sad that you have total lack of respect and decency.
Aaaaand in comes the whiner...
I'm not discriminating. Discrimination would imply that I treat her differently because of her age, which most in eBE do (and I used to do) but now no longer do. How is that discriminating? You clearly throw about words as "discrimination", "racism" and "bullying" around without properly knowing their meaning.
As for me having no lack of respect and decency: I find that pretty rich coming from you. The biggest backstabber known in eBelgium. The one who first bullies others out of the country, but when he's bullied back goes crying to the admins. The one who tries to harm others but hides behind the admins back when they try to harm him back. The one first parades around with his homosexuality, posting gay underaged boys everywhere and but then expects everyone to have the same idea on it as him.
I find you hilarious, Konrad. Because you have little self-dignity and lots of self-pity. The latter, in my opinion, is the weakest of all human weaknesses.
btw: let me know if you want some cheese with you whine
C'mon Konrad, shadow could be an AW or an old no-lifer or a PTOer manager, but he is not discriminating MQ this time 😃
You have to see Shad's other comments in other article etc. He is a bully and nothing more.
Lorcema: who you have here is Konrad, don't turn your back or he'll stab you with a knive. ... be it steel or flesh *gettit?... gettit?* xD
He, just like me (I'm fair to admit that), like to bully/troll others. Other than me tho, he's a whiney b**** that goes crying when people attack him back.
The correct words for his type of behavious is "being a mentally weak human being with little dignity and courage".
@ Shadow, if you break the rules, you pay the price. I was justice. One out of three. The court ruled you guilty of a crime. If you feel "betrayed" that is not my problem. In the end, you were trialed by your peers and most of the justices found you guilty. Feel free to be butt hurt about it. Personal attacks on me will get you no where.
wonderful: shadow and konrad back to fight!
why am i not in belgium anymore? oh right, no congress: i've never been in a country without congress.
a one-man's rule sounds weird...
It was cool when I was CP and congress was bugged \o/
Comment deleted
A COLOMBIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows and your land, you dress them like paramilitar o guerrilla members and send them to pasture in the neighbor land. Now you have two cows, your land and your neighbor land. You repeat the procedure with the other neighbors.
nice one o/
xD
Voted
http://prntscr.com/2552w2o \o/
Argentinian corporation: you have two cows. You feed them, they get fat n´big. Suddenly, a bunch of people claim that they are the owners, and take them. By a miracle of god, two new cows appear in your land. You claim the ownerchip, feed them...