Cool Title Here

Day 2,318, 18:05 • Published in USA USA • by Melissa Rose

It’s been quite a while since I’ve written anything. As most of you know I only write occasionally because I don’t like to write. I don’t consider myself a good writer and I struggle to put anything down in print. (How ironic is it that I am CoSecMed?)
I write what I feel and what I think in a way that is more conducive to a personal journal and occasionally I publish stuff I shouldn’t (Dear Oblige) because it is truly how I feel. I get myself in trouble because I don’t know how to censor myself when it comes to what I am thinking at any given moment. I am an open book and I believe that is how I should be. I make no apologies for who I am or how I am. So here’s me saying what I’m thinking and letting the words just fall out.

I started playing this game a very long time ago. Back before the Feds were number one (or 4 for that matter. They were number 5), back before Pfeiffer was... “Pfeiffer”. Back when Emerick was the savior of the eUS. UIP existed and was a top five party and totally gay (not really but that’s what everyone thought) Back then the game was new to me and it had quite a few aspects of it that were “fun”.

I played for about a year and accomplished quite a bit within my party but never ventured outside of it, not because I wasn’t interested in the world outside of the Feds, but because I didn’t believe I could handle national politics. People have always accused the Feds of being self focused and too internalized and that is a true and fair assessment, to a point. While the vast majority of Feds rarely venture outside of the party (at least they use to) the party has always considered Country before Party and whether people believe it or not or chastise me for saying it or not, it doesn’t matter because I believe it and because I’ve seen it. Over and over they have sacrificed the party for the needs of the Country.

People believe that, because the Feds were growing at those points, that they were thinking of themselves. That’s just not true, they grew because people wanted to be in an active party that truly cared about the Country they were in. The Feds have changed A LOT, new people have come in and old players have left but the fundamental nature of the party has not changed. It is still Country>Party as it has always been. I have watched this party almost destroy itself to try to get rid of the PTO threat and still get told they didn’t do enough. It truly is a great party but that’s not why I’m writing this.

After the first year I eDied for a long time and suddenly decided to come back. When I came back Ajay was the leader of a top 5 party and I decided that I should stay for a bit. My goal was to help get rid of the threat Ajay poised. Thankfully, thanks to Oblige and Josh Frost, I got my chance to help get rid of the PTO and we succeeded.

It was because of Tyler that I started my career in National politics. He pushed and pushed until I agreed to work with Custer on The Pony Express then suddenly I was working on the WHPR, then I was CoSecMed, then SoHS. Everything happened so fast at this point that my head was spinning. I was moving up the National ladder so quickly that I felt a bit like a firework getting ready to explode.

Then all of the sudden a few people wanted me to run for CP and I said yes, then no, then yes and finally after some good (or bad depending how you look at it) advice I said no and stayed with that answer. That is one job that I will never do. Mainly because I have seen the back biting and total BS that happens and it makes me want to scream. If certain people don’t like you (even if there is no reason for it) they will work against you venomously. I’ve seen it, hell I’ve been involved in it. Some didn’t believe WildOwl would be a good CP, and yet he was an AMAZING CP. Some didn’t believe that Gnil should be CP but he’s doing a good job. There are also some that believe that Tyler wouldn’t make a good CP. I have no idea if he would or wouldn’t but he has earned the chance to try and I honestly think he would surprise a lot of people. I would suck as CP and luckily I know that so I will NEVER run.

Again though I digress, this article isn’t about Tyler or the Feds or even National Politics. It’s about me. Fact of the matter is we all play this game for some particular reason, most of us are looking for something that is missing in our lives, some play because they have nothing else to do and I am sure that there are a few that find it fun.

I, for one, don’t anymore. I feel like I have accomplished everything I want to accomplish and a few things I never expected to accomplish. (I met the man of my dreams here, how weird is that.) At the end of the day I just have no love for the game anymore, I have no “reason” to be here. I barely log into IRC and the only reason I am still here at all is because I agreed to be CoSecMed for Gnilraps. It’s become a chore to just login and click a button.

I love all of the people I have met here and there really is no one that I truly hate (even Pfeiffer, he’s not nearly as bad as people think he is) but I just don’t want to be here anymore and no matter how much I want to talk to everyone still I really just don’t want to be involved in the game itself.

(I feel like digressing here for a minute)

One of the greatest things about this game is that we can be who we want at any given time. Most are just themselves but some like to be someone else, and there is nothing wrong with that. We need to stop pissing on people that are just trying to enjoy the game as someone else for awhile. We all know what it’s like to not want to be “us” for a bit.

(back to the Article)

I remember awhile back I told everyone I was going to put this song into my goodbye article but it really doesn’t fit anymore so I changed it to this song because I was really upset at quite a few of the small minded people that are in national politics. Honestly though that doesn’t fit anymore either.

So I’m just going to end with this. I’m finishing up this CP term as CoSecMed and then I’m just gone. I’ll probably be on IRC occasionally but that’s pretty much it.

To many people to thank so I’m just going to list a few people please don’t be offended if you aren’t mentioned.

Thank you Athanaric/Aramec for just being you.
Thank you Tyler for Pushing.
Thank you Custer for believing in me.
Thank you Oblige for having faith in my abilities.
Thank you Josh Frost for making me your SoHS so I could shine.
Thank you Gnilraps for being a good friend.
Thank you Talostastic for being my stabilizing force on eNPR.
Thank you twisted_pixel for listening to me.
Thank you Mazzy Cat for being my friend even when I was being a total B**ch.
Thank you Evil_Elvis for being there at the perfect moment in time.

Edit - Added - Thank you Pfeiffer for being Pfeiffer

Love you all

Take care of each other.



"I would rather rot in hell for all of eternity for standing by my principles, than get into heaven by leaving those principles behind"