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Lately there has been a lot of talk about Augustus Baldwin and his reign of terror. Among other things, he has threatened the Democratic Action League and the government of eCanada. I think he does it basically for fun, and to fulfill some void in this life that cannot be filled any other way. I know that people are getting sick of talking about him, but i think its important that as party president i say my piece on this.

After thinking for awhile, i realized that i dont care. I figure that even if he succeeds in whatever he wants to do, and that somewho destorys our country and turns us over to the hungarians, well whatever. As on of those famous people once said, "If you can't eat it why bother?" He, Mr. Baldwin, or Cobra commander as his friends call him, has had a distingushed gaming record. i am not sure what he has done, but people tell me we was the big cheese in the sandwich back in the day. Now he is content to merely terrorize the village people just because he is the only one with a gun. At first, this whole thing seems surreal. But not like that reality show called the surreal life, no much different. My point is, i dislike immensely people that are mean to other people, unless those other people were mean first.

What the government should do is eliminate all of the cabinet and congress except for me, cuz i am not a crook, and make me president. that way, we could verify that there are no more leaks. Because i would control everything. basically i would just invade the US and hope for the best. In any case, dictatorships have never failed, so there is no evidence that it could fail now. Except that once, but no one saw Bruce willis being dead the whole time. that was a good twist.

Gramma ,is real impoant ?fo learnin,

I apologize, that wasnt me, it was Augustus Baldwin, he and his Cobra commandos infilrated our party org. I couldnt prevent hi from writing "Gramma ,is real impoant ?fo learn," Oh the humanity, will this tyrant not stop? Not even to try the new ice coffees at McDonalds? I havent either, im lukewarm on them though. Besides, if i wanted to mix ice and coffee, i would move to Russia.

Its important that we as a society, remember that this game is essential to our wellness RL. If we dont heal after a battle, we may become unproductive workers, get fired, and have to sleep in my parents basement. But enough about me, Mr. Baldwin has gone too far in threatening to make the DAL party mascot a Cobra. Because i dont like Cobras, they are overratted like the Jonas Brothers.
You know what is overratted? Personal Hygiene.

I would like to apologize to Augustus Baldwin for dismissing Cobras. But they still have nothing on F-16's. Except they have venom. And F-16's have missiles. As well, cleaning is inportant, even if you dont like it. Cuz people will beat you up and steal your digimon cards if you dont. And NO ONE wants that. Except your parents. They want the cards gone.

I know that being serious is important, that is why i am offering 100,000 CAD of government funds to anyone that can betray Cobra and transfer all there wealth into DAL offshore bank accounts, where there are no taxes and oversight to stop you from lauding money. However, if you have really good info on a good place to eat in Miami, Ohio, i can only provide a used kleenex. and not even the good kind, bu the stuff thats 10 cents a box and is not comfortable to use. As well, the DAL party considers anyone who has ever heard of Augustus to be a traitor and to tranfer all funds to the DAL org ASAP. The trick is to know what Augustus im talking about. But to be safe, transfer your funding anyways.

Lastly, i hope that all of ecanada understand the movie the English Patient.









(this is all done in the name of not being serious)


btw this is my article for congress


(NOT)