Citizenship, you say?
Day 1,313, 08:46
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Published in United Kingdom 
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by
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by Llort Zakharov
Oh dear.
The last month I’ve been in eIreland, winding up the Irish and having deep debates with people with Pinky and the Brain avatars. It’s been tiresome at best, frustrating at worst. I’ve seen rampant stupidity, very angry, patriotic Irishmen and people that can’t separate the real world from the virtual one (Give back Northern Ireland because of real life circumstances!).
Nonetheless, I’m finally back from a glorious BCH/eUK victory in eIreland, and it’s time we see how things have changed.
Citizenship applications. A means to an end, most would say, but what I’m seeing is a range of hilarious adverts of the kind you find on obscure channels on a television at four in the morning.
Get your “DENIED” stamps ready, folks.
First up is the persuasive loodys, who uses sound wartime reasoning to explain why he should be allowed into the eUK.
I have no idea what on earth lead that guy to come up with that as a reason to get citizenship, but he would clearly be an asset to the eUK.
Onto our next guest, we have the intriguing Nicholas Ryan offering his thoughts:
Need I say more?
I feel abit bad for mocking offering constructive criticism for this next one. It’s someone called DeathWolf, and I honestly get the feeling that they’d fit right in on the Jeremy Kyle show.
The way it sounds is as if this person has experienced some tragic and scarring event in eUSA, so I’m -...Wait, nothing bad “while” happen?
KILL IT WITH FIRE!
The final one on this list is someone I actually want to get citizenship. They’re hilarious, intelligent, literate and cunning, and their impressive political and militaristic knowledge would be an asset to the eUK. Check them out; I’m collecting signatures for my petition to have this guy let into the eUK.
Sign up folks; because that one isn’t gonna get in by himself. Plenty of people claim that you have to take things on faith in life, that you have to give people a chance. These people are wrong.
What we all need – what every citizen, every country and every organisation needs – is someone to review things; someone who’s willing to read through countless citizenship applications and find which ones are worth it. We need assessments, and all the scorn that comes with it.
I deserve a medal or something.
...Well played, Plato.
The last month I’ve been in eIreland, winding up the Irish and having deep debates with people with Pinky and the Brain avatars. It’s been tiresome at best, frustrating at worst. I’ve seen rampant stupidity, very angry, patriotic Irishmen and people that can’t separate the real world from the virtual one (Give back Northern Ireland because of real life circumstances!).
Nonetheless, I’m finally back from a glorious BCH/eUK victory in eIreland, and it’s time we see how things have changed.
Citizenship applications. A means to an end, most would say, but what I’m seeing is a range of hilarious adverts of the kind you find on obscure channels on a television at four in the morning.
Get your “DENIED” stamps ready, folks.
First up is the persuasive loodys, who uses sound wartime reasoning to explain why he should be allowed into the eUK.
I have no idea what on earth lead that guy to come up with that as a reason to get citizenship, but he would clearly be an asset to the eUK.
Onto our next guest, we have the intriguing Nicholas Ryan offering his thoughts:
Need I say more?
I feel a
The way it sounds is as if this person has experienced some tragic and scarring event in eUSA, so I’m -...Wait, nothing bad “while” happen?
KILL IT WITH FIRE!
The final one on this list is someone I actually want to get citizenship. They’re hilarious, intelligent, literate and cunning, and their impressive political and militaristic knowledge would be an asset to the eUK. Check them out; I’m collecting signatures for my petition to have this guy let into the eUK.
Sign up folks; because that one isn’t gonna get in by himself. Plenty of people claim that you have to take things on faith in life, that you have to give people a chance. These people are wrong.
What we all need – what every citizen, every country and every organisation needs – is someone to review things; someone who’s willing to read through countless citizenship applications and find which ones are worth it. We need assessments, and all the scorn that comes with it.
I deserve a medal or something.
...Well played, Plato.
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Very good
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Lefty From Mulberry st shot me in the leg see... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2dIZ2HCXXY8
by the way thanks for havin me in ur article
You do realize that was intentional? o_O
I often-time find myself ruminating, surly-like, as to why when Americans (in particular, although not exclusively) emulate a British accent, they assume the role of a 19th century Victorian gentleman, of which have been a dying breed since the Edwardian era.
I can postulate, rather strongly I think, that this attitude 'gets on my tits' or rather 'gets on our collective tits' as to the notion that we are all so stuck up that we still live in the late 19th century (perhaps that would be useful, Pax Britannia anyone?).
Enough of the rant, quite an enjoyable article.
I'm aware of that, Nicholas. We are an oppressive bunch of people however and do not allow the use of the word "American" as a language for any purposes.
Custard, I often question the same thing. I suppose I'd prefer to be considered a gentleman than a chav, however.
\o/
\o/
Making fun of other people's typos? That's how far we've come by now, huh? You're certainly a hero and deserve a medal for this amazing kind of humour of yours.
I hold seminars if you're interested in learning my methods, Herbert.
I laughed out loud reading this, good stuff.
Ironically, while these dregs of society flee the failing USA, I personally have moved there to help out (in what small way I can). It's my true home, after all, and who wants to be on the winning team anyway?
Best of luck, eUK and eIreland.
They let half america in, but they've still denied my cit. request after my iranian trip. You bastards.
Bloody good show, old chap! What say we make our morning constitution about the West End, shall we?
http://www.permanenthairremovaltips.com/unibrow.html
I thought you should see this.
Its for your own good.
Rly.