Join the new world

Members of The Canadian Progressive Front hear my rambling and listen to my crackpot program!

Other political parties are discussing moves away from eCanada to escape the Elites (and the hidden Undead Elites) that rule eCanada with a greedy iron fist, giving away millions of cc through cleverly designed programs that, on the surface, seem to help eCanadians but in the long run make them slaves to the Elites (and, again, the Undead Elites). The parties' plans, though, are flawed and will NOT result in the utopia they seek, but in their untimely demise.

Showing up as a mass political party on the doorstep of another country is a sure fire way to make enemies, enemies you may not be able to avoid. Angry, hungry enemies. With ropes.


Meaty, Delicious People ?



Life on the ocean? More like death in the sea. People, the ocean is inhabited by killer animals

Maybe a little poo comes out?

Or worse

Sharks with frickin laser beams on their heads

Think escaping to the molten core of the planet will yield salvation from the elites? Think again.

Where's yer sharp stick now?

Moon base? Moon base? How's that gonna help when the Elites (and the Undead Elites) can just use mind control to crash the moon into the Earth?

Not again! We're running out of Earths

No, my CPF friends we need to get far away from the mind-controlling, shark-controlling, plant crashing bastards that are the Elites (and, by extension, the Undead Elites. We can't keep forgetting about them). We must venture past the localized mind-control area of earth orbit, to another planet altogether.

By process of elimination
Mercury, Neptune - too damn hot/cold
Pluto - jokes on you! Pluto's not a planet anymore.
Venus - potential, but a little too much ammonia
Saturn, Jupiter - meh, gas giants
Uranus - really? You want endless "Your Anus" jokes from all the 14-year olds? Think again
Mars - nailed it. The Red Planet here we come.

Step One: We could do this by conventional means, but that could take years and cost millions of lives. No. We can construct a simple time-space portal unit like they did in the documentary Contact


Is Jodie Foster going to be there? Asking for a friend

Step Two: Drop through it (one at a time, please) and we arrive on Mars and make friends with the locals, who will, no doubt, be very understanding of the situation (and the fact that the portal only goes one way and we can't get back). I mean they seem very reasonable


This plan is fool-proof. We're on Mars, hobnobbing with welcoming Martians and avoiding cannibals, sharks (with frickin laser beams), magma monsters and the inevitable crash of the moon into earth. Win-win-win.