Brits at Home, Brits in the World
HobbitTon
Would you like some British muzak?
~Audience? What are you doing in my trunk? You could have gotten squished by all the junk in there. Don't scare me like that.~
I started playing eRepublik 364 days ago from today. All of my time had been spent preying on innocent gnomes on the beautiful grasslands of America. Recently, cases of mistaken identity struck the gnomes I captured. One day they thought they were Spaniards. Other days they were Hundarians or Polish gypsies. This was a sign, a powerful indicator of an American epidemic, one more devastating than obesity. America was infected with Fail. Hobbits, unlike most people, are not immune to Fail due to evolution. It's simple Darwinism. Generations of so much win have caused us hobbits to develop rather flamboyant egos.
I'm sorry America. I really am. I forgot how blind you are to your failures. Maybe if I sugarcoat it for - no. I know how kinky you get near food. Maybe a flashy picture might capture your attention.
One second, admiring multicultural America. Churro?
Out of all the English speaking countries that call the New World home, it was only natural for me to swim across the river to the great sovereignty of Britain. Canada was just America's pathetic buffer, and waltzing Matildas overpopulated the Australian billybong. New Zealand. Eh, I'm not a stickler for kiwis. Let's look back on primary school history, shall we? America. Canada. Australia. New Zealand. What do they have in common? They were once Britain's colonies. And while the British empire shrunk over the centuries, its influence remains. Anyways, those other countries will never get some of this:
My fascination for British polticking peaked when I saw the Queen on BBC. How elegantly she sipped her cup of tea, looking as young as she did many years prior. Even while doing absolutely nothing, she captivates the audience of children and men alike. You wonder why you never hear about her husband, Prince Philip. He'll never be anything but a prince, but he can only watch as his grandson Prince Williams will one day become King. It's a sad tale, indeed, but it makes for a good story. Never marry royal women. They're superior to you.
But enough about the Queen. This is the eUK!
Oddly enough, Emerick and I became citizens of Britain at about the same time. You may know him, the Sweet Prince. I can't say anything bad about him, since he is fathering my children, but we're different personalities. I'm hot. He's cold. I'm yes. He's no. I'm in. He's out. You get the point.
In conclusion, America will get wiped. Britain is great. Let the fun begin.
Bless your face. If you blinked during this article, bless you. Do vote and subscribe! HobbitTon out! Boop!
Best Regards,
~Your friendly neighborhood hobbit.~
Comments
Pertamax... fail!
ikinç
Britian sucks. Trust me, I spent time there.
Good luck, though.
No Tobuscus ? 🙂
V from Macedonia...
So this article is you saying how good the Uk is to America? Im okay with this. Just a shame it we don't do anything interesting in rl
To have a fascination with some old chick sipping tea is considered kinky in my country 🙂
Gypsies from Poland? LOL
V+
*notices conspicuous lack of eNZ when talking about English-speaking countries*
>_______>
@Spu😛 Thanks for that. I missed it for some reason.
sadly, i just tried to scroll up 2 zoom in on that world map image 😑
>implying we like the queen
>implying she has anything to do with politics
Speak for yourself Mr. Keers
HE IS CUZ HES NOT A BRIT LULULULULULULULU
Reading the British and Canadian press makes me proud to be an American. Even as we go down into defeat, we have made the eUSA a much more professional and much classier place in which to be overrun. I never disliked Hobbiton, but the cowardly slinking off of so many eUSA luminaries reminds us all that these people won't be welcomed back when we put our nation back together, state by state. So - Hobbiton - Mr. "I'll Never Stick With You Losers Because You Didn't Play Emerick's Game". Enjoy your new home.
Welcome HobbitTon
Welcome :3
Hey there, welcome to the madhouse 🙂
Good show Mr HobbitTon, Good show indeed.
Keer, King Woldy will be quite disappointed to hear you speaking ill about his love. 😛
Welcome Hobbit. Good to see ya here. I've missed seeing you around.
Welcome to the motherland.
Jude, you left after a few days to become homeless iirc.
Generations of so much win have caused us hobbits to develop rather flamboyant egos.
Glad you realised.
Did someone say Queen?
Harhar
That chick is ugly as s**t
So many raging queens over there....how can you tell which is which?
oh, and wot Keers said, too.
Sup
Ohai there. Glad you're writing again!
You're in.. he's out... oh ok. Hes top you're bottom. 😃
Piss off then. No vote, unsubed.
this article is cool
Why do ppl think that mentioning the Queen is an automatic win? 🙁
Don't you know that ALL women think they're royal?
They're ALL better than you.
And they don't have much patience waiting for you to figure it out.
And then they lose respect for you once you do.
b︀е︀s︀t︀ ︀s︀е︀x︀ ︀d︀а︀t︀i︀n︀g︀:︀ https://www.youtube.com/redirect?q=%6e%61%6b%65%64%2d%67%69%72%6c%73%2e%6f%6e%6c%69%6e%65%2f%6b%6b%2f%78%6b%44%57%43%39%3f%73%6f%75%72%63%65%3d%65%72%65%70%75%62%6c%69%6b%26%61%64%5f%63%61%6d%70%61%69%67%6e%5f%69%64%3d1808526