Brits are like in love with me

Day 1,537, 09:22 • Published in USA USA • by Emerick

With good reason, too - I mean, I'm hot. I'm like what would happen if Brangelina actually mated. I'm like Zooey DesChanel if Zooey DesChanel was male and also slightly cuter. I'm like that one song - This Is Why I'm Hot - except instead of explaining why I'm so hot, I'm just really really hot.

What I'm trying to say is that I'm attractive. Physically, mentally, emotionally. Not spiritually though, because I'm not gay(much to the UK's chagrin).

Mere words - in text format - bring the UK to their knees, begging for oral penetration. And who can blame them? After all, I am Emerick.

I AM CURRENTLY LISTENING TO WEEZER WHICH IS GREAT BECAUSE I LOVE WEEZER.

I also like Ke$ha and mc chris.

UK likes me. Like, UK likes me likes me. Like, UK wants to be my girlfriend and stuff. But I don't want UK to be my girlfriend. Fifer wants UK to be his girlfriend, because Fifer has poor taste; but UK doesn't want to be Fifer's girlfriend. UK wants to be my girlfriend.

INTERMISSION


Now to explain what I'm talking about.

Over the last few articles(actually the last few years, but let's try to be timely here), there's been a lot of hate by British haters. Naturally, the only way to interpret this hate is that the UK, socially awkward as they're known to be, are desperately in love with me. Obviously.

So anyways, I thought I'd come out in the open to tell the UK that, while I have no respect for you in any fashion imaginable - your military and economic policy is derpalicious, you're a constant turncoat, you're a detriment to anyone you ally yourselves with(honestly, Terra started out losing until you left~), you're just about as pig disgusting as your allies, your politics are literally insane - I just can't see myself with you.



So let's end all this flirting in my comments, like Tomazim's comment: "ITT: pretend amerifag dioists (the original pig disgustings)," which is factually incorrect. The US was actually an original ally to the Glorious Empire of Pakistan. Check out the CanAm War. Pakistan was one of the US's two allies there. It wasn't until Dish that we allied with Atlantis, a move that hearty Dioists such as myself worked for years to reverse.



In my last article, Tom put out another good one: "Isn't emerick the guy that got trolled out of erepublik by woldy?"

A laughable comment, to say the least. First of all, I've never seen Woldy say anything that would upset anyone, nothing to be considered "trolling". And to claim that I stopped playing because of this guy, not because this game sucks, is a p silly thing to say.

I'm kind of at a loss as to what he might be referring to, honestly. Unless it's the whole debacle that led to the UK leaving Terra, when they threatened Ireland for months and months, were entirely useless, no one wanted them, and still worshiped a pig . . . then I can comment on that. HOW'S THAT WORKING OUT FOR YOU. You guys have the best foreign policy in history. Need I say anything more? Thank you.



Oh, and danielcox: "He's just bitter he can't get his original newspaper name back". I had no idea what he was talking about at first, but then I just now decided to click on his name and OH GOD HIS PAPER IS NAMED ALL OUT ATTACK OMG TROLLED


You guys are lame.