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Our military correspondent Piet Skiet reports on a tragic incident that occurred late yesterday afternoon at our military base in Oirschot.

Sounds of emergency vehicles where heard all over the normally quiet town of Oirschot in Southern Netherlands close to the Belgium border yesterday afternoon.

First reports received were of a battle at the military base, which was thought to be attacked by Polish forces.

These reports we quickly quelled as Piet was able to locate our honorable minister of defense Transvaal at the Sint-Petrus Bandenkerk. He received the following official statement from him:
“I am here tonight to pray for the life of our South African ambassador to the Netherlands Mr. Will Panzer, and I would encourage others to do so with me. Will has been critically injured in a shooting incident that took place at the military base earlier today. The incident is still being investigated however at this stage is looks like an accident. Whether you like Will or not, we must pray for his life, as if he is not able to pull through we are likely to get a Lazocrat as a replacement.”

Later the Minster of Foreign Affairs Giovanni in a public statement announced that a regrettable incident had occurred resulting in the South African ambassador now being critically ill in hospital. He also stated that he has been in contact with Pretoria to explain the situation.

Per telephone Thanatos, revealed that three Dutch soldiers had been arrested by the military police pending the completion of the investigation into the incident. The names of the soldiers are as follows: Nakbula, Cody Caine and Lancer.

At the De Kroon Brouwerij the state secretary Fosite responded to our enquiry, by shouting no tie, no tie, no tie. We do not quite know what he meant, but we figured he had spent too much time in China.

The minister of coaching Frederik Hendrik then arrived, his words were as follows; “I can’t understand it we have coached many Dutch soldiers, but never have we had problems with soldiers following orders so fanatically. These new troops from abroad follow any orders regardless of the consequences. We just asked Will to come assist us with preparations for the Oranje Gelderland infantry regiments imminent integration into the Two’s army forces. The South African forces have been preparing for some time, and we just wanted a heads up from him. He only joined us for half the day and now look where he finds himself. It’s such a tragedy.”

Below please find a photo taken of the incident taken by an eye witness. Warning, some readers may find the picture disturbing. On behalf of the Volks Blad we wish Will Panzer well in his recovery.