Breaking News: Kurgan is Nice Guy

Day 1,492, 16:15 • Published in Ireland Ireland • by Anthony Colby

It has just come to the attention of our reporting staff via a video tape left at the station that shows notorious rouge and bringer of chaos and destruction, Victor Kurgan, is in reality a nice guy.

The video tape shows Victor Kurgan doing a number of nice acts to citizens he met on the street. In one scene Kurgan is seen helping a little old lady cross a busy street. Kurgan politely waits for the light to change and then proceeds to escort the woman to the other side of the road while waving to the drivers of the vehicles thanks for stopping.

In a second scene Kurgan is shown helping a kitten down out of a tree. Yes actually rescuing a kitten in what can only be considered the stereotypical measure of kindness.

Kitten rescued by Kurgan

" I didn't know what to think" said Kitten. "I thought he would be mean and nasty but he was very sweet" said the cat.

Along with the video tape there was a series of hand written papers with evidence of more kindness committed by the "self proclaimed" bad guy. Kurgan it seems goes out of his way to commit acts of charity. It is being reported that Kurgans' mean streak is nothing more than a sophisticated public relations ploy in order to win Irish Community Awards in order to donate the prize money to those who need it. Over time Kurgan has given away a fortune the notes show.


Common image of Victor Kurgan


Reported photo of Victor Kurgan

If the evidence is proven to be true then it seems that we have been duped into believing a falsehood about Victor Kurgan. The man who we thought was a vicious killer and notorious evildoer is nothing more than a closeted philanthropist. A shock to us all.

This is an ongoing story and we will bring you more with some follow up investigation.

Good Night.