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Canadian Conduit - Issue #78

This is the second installment of my memoirs which will go over the joys of my July term. If you feel the urge, go ahead and read the article detailing the happenings of my June term.



The Dade Terms, Part 2: V2, NWT, and TemujinBC

Running Again

Campaigning for my second term was a like adding a fourth chainsaw to the juggling act. For obvious reasons, I had a lot less time to campaign for my V2 term since I also happened to be running the country at the time. Because of this my second term slogan "eCanada Rising" didn't have nearly the same staying power that "COLA" did. That being said, my platform seemed to be well received and I was inundated with encouraging PM's, which I didn't expect to occur in such high numbers.


Omg a second term!

Despite not having the official UN endorsement on paper, I managed to win the spot for first V2 President by a 31.5% margin, which for the record is around 11% higher than the largest margin of victory Jacobi has ever achieved. For a while I was feeling pretty damn good about myself; if my popularity was being measured in Jacobian terms I must have done a lot of stuff to make people happy in V1. Things were good, friends and family were celebrating, skittles were falling from the sky....and then V2 actually began.

eRepublik Rising, Currency Sinking

eRepublik Rising was a flustercuck from the start. I'm not even going to go into all the headaches V2 has afforded me as CP - it'd be depressing. Despite this, we were able to make many improvements. During the last weeks of V1 in an effort to impress me with how much gold he could save, I guess, SirDelaShaunRonSmith flooded the monetary market with CAD, buying up offer after offer of gold. The result was that our currency dropped from 0.030g to 0.023g per CAD. The Canadian currency is a stock that all eCanadians are invested in, and we saw that stock drop close to 25% in the final two weeks of V1. As such, I made it one of my priorities to correct this. I brought Addy Lawrence on board, who's brilliant economic mind reigned in the ridiculous printing of CAD. This, in combination with the fact that the CAF was shut down in congruence with the military module, meant we could focus on the damage that had been done to the currency. It eventually jumped as high as 0.033g, at which point I put CAD onto the market to bring it back to it's historic value of 0.030g.

The Minimum Wage Scare

Interestingly, the "minimum wage issue" had occured right at the beginning of these efforts. Many citizens had PM'd me prior to the release of V2 telling me to keep a close eye on minimum wage after the changeover. Their fears would prove to be well founded, as the beginning of V2 saw no drop in the minimum wage. Many people started clamouring for a lower dollar; perhaps as low as 0.015g or even 0.010g. Among them was Jacobi, who presented his case, as always, eloquently and convincingly. I know for a fact his personal opinion wasn't as pro-mega-inflation as his article claimed, but he was certainly presenting a valid opinion. In the end I opted to wait it out as my comments in Jacobi's article indicated. I did not want to nuke the gold saving potential of eCanadian citizens based on only a day or two of V2. Had the admins never changed the minimum wage to have a lower minimum, I most certainly would have made the wrong choice. However, I put my faith in them that despite their mishandling of almost all other issues, the minimum wage problem would be too large for them to ignore. As chance would have it, I was right. If I deserve any credit for not nuking the dollar, it's that I was level headed enough not to make a knee-jerk reaction after only a day or two of the new modules. Still, I don't deserve too much credit; the admins could have just as easily left it and I would've looked a lot less intelligent than I did.


I was feeling pretty good about myself after I chose not to react too quickly to the minimum wage scare

DadeRage #2 - Sir Longname Goes Bipolar

Longname's rage was, and still is, my favourite case of Daderage. His anger was so sudden and so intense, and for so little reason, that I couldn't help but be thoroughly amused. It all started when we were discussing the future of the dollar; I held firm that I believed the dollar would stay strong at it's current position, and Longname insisted that this was garbage and that the dollar would be dropping rapidly before the end of my term. Of course, turns out I was completely right (the dollar remained at 0.03 until the end of my term as I predicted) and suddenly I felt a little silly for having so poorly chosen my June MoF that he would be out-economic'd by a CP who had never worked in the Ministry of Finance. Shaun was so extremely upset that I didn't agree that the dollar was doomed that he flipped out and wrote an article that I had accomplished nothing and I was a failure etc... This rage was unique in that he had essentially no reason to be upset, and yet he was by far the ragiest of the ragers. 1ronman raged because I destroyed his elife, Jbdivinus raged because it was his job to do so, JB Furglar raged because I didn't make him Minister of Education...and Shaun raged because...of...the...currency? It was one of the funniest things I've ever read, and the only people who didn't see right through it were already dedicated Daderagers. I gave him a "sorry your article didn't work" PM and he continued his flip-outtage. All-in-all, this particular case of DadeRage was one of my favourite experiences as CP, and I hope he continues to amuse me into the future.


Longname gets pretty upset when his predictions are wrong

The Northwest Territories Rental

Foreign affairs was certainly my favourite job as CP. Negotiating with the French, as I did several times over two months, wasn't a particularly pleasant task; aside from that, though, foreign affairs was a pretty good time. My relationship with both American CP's was a good one. Chocolate McSkittles and Bradley Reala, as I understand it, aren't necessarily on the same team south of the border. But to me they were both fantastic Bro's, and I very much enjoyed working with them. Of course, I can't mention diplomacy without also talking about the Northwest Territories Rental.


Intense Negotiations be damned, we'll always be bros

Negotiations over the region were intense. In the second bout of negotiations I at one point found myself outnumbered by the American delegation 5 to 1; yet I was always comfortable in this position. Maybe it's because I don't scare easily, or maybe it's because I'm kind of kinky. Either way, despite the rough negotiations we were all still solid Bro's after each session. This, among other qualities, is why Brad was such a fantastic guy to work with. We could drill eachother over price all we wanted, but in the end we would remain Bros. And for those of you who are curious as to what the prices that were thrown around in those negotiations were, I asked for 2k gold, the USA countered with 700g, and eventually the final offer was 1k gold. And then the second final offer was 1.2k gold, which was what went to referendum.

eCanada's First Ever Referendum



The referendum is one of the things I am most proud of regarding my two terms, but to giving me all the credit would be misplaced. While it was my idea and my decision to put the proposal to referendum, it was Sperry and Stephanos Primus who did all the grunt work. I had an idea for a google document which Sperry quickly vetoed; his idea of counting and screenshotting groups of PM's was impossible to exploit and was a far more efficient method than mine; for this he deserves all the credit. It wasn't perfect by any means, but the referendum had a great turnout and using it I was able to give the people the chance to be their own President.

TemujinBC

The TemujinBC issue was something I had struggled with since I took office. Did he take government funds? Well...sort of. He gave them away to friends, yes, but he never actually profitted even a penny from it. It was a lulzy stunt which could have been predicted by just about anyone who knows him. This doesn't exonerate him, but it should be taken into consideration. The stunt ended in a loss of 666 CAD for the eCanadian government which is still in PimpDollaz' possession. 666 CAD is absolute peanuts - it takes perhaps an hour for this much money to be collected in taxes. Again, this doesn't make it acceptable, but it should be taken into consideration. As such, the months that Temujin spent banned were, in my opinion, an awfully disproportionate ban.


TemujinBC was looking a little scruffy after 4 months in the slammer

The only thing stopping me from pardoning him was the whole issue with the "Government of eCanada" organization. Temujin knew that the spirit of the sentence was not to be sending the money to a recently created org (either by himself or by a friend). However, as I understand it, that money paid by TemBC did not find its way back to him. To him, he paid a fine of 4000 CAD, even if it was to a friend (or perhaps himself). Still, I felt as though pardoning him would be a sign of disrespect to the court after he circumvented the spirit of the law. For this reason, I was hoping to extract an apology from Tem...needless to say, it never came. That dude is the most stubborn S.O.B I've ever met. TemujinBC, if you're reading this, you're a giant douchebag and I hate/love you. In fact, you're such a douchebag I'm gonna start calling you TemujinDB. But I digress...

I went to my Minister of Justice Ayeshan Dakseus about the Giant Douchebag problem - he agreed that the sentence was disproportionate to the crime, and that considering the thousands upon thousands of CAD Tem had spent on the battlefield, that he deserved to be reinstated as a full member of the community. The blessing of my MoJ was the final straw for me, and despite not having an apology from g-d-bag I went through with the pardon. I made some friends mad, and I made some friends happy - just like every decision a CP makes. In the end I believe it was the correct decision.

Daderage #3 - JB Furglar Pouts

Some people are chronic complainers - they like to blame the government for every problem under the sun using sweeping generalizations that have nothing to do with actual policy or reality. JB Furglar is their ring leader. The reason for JB's rage is pure speculation, of course, but it all began shortly after he applied to be my Minister of Education and was rejected. My reasoning for this was because JB was being a position hog - he's on the Board of SomethingRather, he's the chair of the Board of Whatchamahoozit, and he self appointed himself to a Committee for SomethingReallyImportant. It's time to let other citizens pretend to have power! But actually, it was mostly JB's past and his attempts to write legislation long enough that nobody would notice he's just trying to get some semblance of control over government funds. Fortunately, I don't hand out money to somebody just because they write really long legislation. As such, I've been treated to a month or so worth of "corrupt government", "horrible job", and "driving the country into the ground" comments; these, perhaps due to their complete lack of anything other than hearsay, are generally ignored by the populace. Nonetheless, JB was an important piece of the Daderage puzzle - after all, he's the only rager who had any actual power, even if it is just power he made up for himself.


I guess I didn't give enough respect to JB's various positions of extreme importance

A Third Term?

At the beginning of my second term I was still a bit on the fence as to whether or not I would run for a a third consecutive term. On the one hand, there were a lot of initiatives I wanted to undertake which would be more effective if I could implement them over a longer period of time. However, I wasn't too keen on going yet another month working 20-35 hours a week for no pay (unless you count trolling). What put me over the top was when I spent an entire day on eRepublik that I had planned for far more productive purposes. That same weekend, I received a text message from my friend saying "Movie?". Of course, I can't remember the last time "Movie?" actually meant she wanted to watch a movie...it was just the term we happened to use. However, I was having an important discussion with my cabinet members about what tiles I would be placing our existing infrastructure on as per the admin's request. When I stopped to think about it later, I realized the notion of rejecting a booty call so I could be in a cabinet meeting in an online browser game was...well...let's just say I decided it was time to rework my priorities. Two terms is double the life of most CP's, and for me that was enough.

Endorsing Acacia

I had known that Acacia wanted to run if I wasn't going to, and it seemed the stars were aligning for my good friend. When he mentioned to me in June he'd like to run some day, I believe I told him I'd "support the crap out of him" if he did run. Now he's been elected, and I truly believe eCanada has made a fantastic choice. It was a bit tough, I'll admit, to endorse one friend over another. Jacobi is one of the most unique characters in eRepublik; initially I hated him because he's an arrogant d-bag, but now I love him because he's an arrogant d-bag. He makes no bones about his personality, and unlike most people he isn't easily offended. He and I had a fairly heated discussion over somethingrather on irc one day, but afterwards we were just as friendly as before: the mark of a true politician. Jacobi can take the heat. Is he stuck up? Hell ya, and he's allowed to be after everything he's done for this country.


I almost wrote an article without the obligatory bewbz...close call

I look forward to seeing what Acacia can do in the driver's seat. It's an awfully toasty seat, and he's gonna have to keep his wits about him if he wants his tuchus to remain un-scorched. I know he's up to the task, though, and I'm excited for what his leadership has in store. Getting elected is really hard work, but being President makes the campaign seem like a cake-walk. So far he's been using the gold I saved up to spank the Brits, and I couldn't be more happy about it. His term is a third over and already he's cemented his legacy, but there's still a long way to go. Good luck Acacia, and keep up the amazing work! Just remember, if ever in doubt, blame it on me.



TL😉R
I was CP in July

Thank you for reading. Once again, there's a lot I've left out, but I just didn't have the room to put everything in there. To all the people who supported me, or to the Lil' Daderagers (as Plug calls them) who've amused, thank you so much. Being CP was an exhausting experience, but it was a lot of fun.

Sincerely,