Augustus Baldwin Doesn't Support Seperatists, and Neither Should You

Day 526, 20:50 • Published in Canada Canada • by Augustus Baldwin
Disclaimer: Augustus Baldwin Hates Seperatists. He Hates People Who Support Seperatists. He Hates People Who Know People Who Support Seperatists. He Hates Women Who Gave Birth To Seperatists. And He Probably Hates You Too

Its that time again. Time for old AB to climb on his soapbox, start speaking in the third person, and call out the dirty politicans of eCanada who think they can make backroom deals with impunity, assured that there is no one out there who is smart enough to catch them red handed.

Today I had the mispleasure of discovering a scandal involving my own beloved party, the Canadian Social Democrats, whose new leadership is in cahoots with, you guessed it, THE SEPERATISTS. Now I don't know why, come election time, there is always someone who tries to buy the support of these annoying little buggers who want to destroy Canada. Its beyond me why they think that the benefits of the seperatist vote outweigh the trouble they will get into when I find out. But it happens, and here we are, on with the show.

So during the recent Congressional elections the Canadian Paradox Party and the Democratic Action League worked out a secret deal whereby the DAL would elect CPP Congressmen in exchange for the CPP supporting a DAL candidate for President. Backroom politics, but nothing too controversial.

So at this point the DAL held control of two Presidential endorsements. Enter my beloved CSD, who purchased both those endorsements from the DAL in exchange for extensive patronage in the government should the CSD win. You know, the CPP and DAL endorse Cleo for President, then if Cleo wins DAL gets to appoint the head of the Reading Railroad, Electric Company, and Water Works. I'm not too upset, a little fishy, but hey its politics! Right?

Then everything goes bad. Not satisfied with just the support of the DAL and CPP, Cleo decides she is going to put my party into bed with THE SEPERATIST BLOC. Promises have been made, hands have been shook, deals have been signed, and in the end the CSD has allied itself with the seperatists in exchange for high level appointments in a CSD government and support of the Bloc's recent political manifesto calling for the active pursuit of an independant Quebec.

Now everyone knows Im a big fan of wheel and deal politics, but you have to ask how far is too far? Is it worth allying with the seperatists to gain power in Canada? Is it worth putting Confederation at risk? Where does it end? If the seperatists are OK, then why not ally with the Hungarians in exchange for votes? Why doesn't the CSD promise the Hungarians some positions in cabinet in exchange for them sending over voters?

I'm sorry, but I cannot support my party if it wants to make deals with those who want to destroy Canada. I cannot support the CSD in this election so long as it promises support and government posts to THE SEPERATISTS.

And how did I find all this out? Well there are still many loyal Canadian Federalists in the CSD, and they are about as happy with this evil alliance as I am. What can I say? Some of us are still looking out for Canada.