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Arousing Photos #1

Day 3,034, 22:47 • Published in United Kingdom

• by Hail Astrid

It has come to my attention that the Page 3 market in the eUK has been floundering for some time.

Neil Lewis indulged people who had a fetish for red hair, and Duchess of Sin satisfied those who enjoyed pictures of women with strangely impractical clothing. Neither have been posting lately, so we're just stuck with Sambo's gifs of half-naked men at the end of his articles.

I have decided to pick up the slack and enter the page 3 market myself, as I have collected forfeit points in every single category available except for pornography. Also, while those skrubs were merely satisfied with one particular fetish, I have decided that I will satisfy a wide range of tastes in order to satisfy as many people as possible.

For the heterosexual male:

For the heterosexual female:

For the homosexual male:

For the homosexual female:

For the vegetarians:

Thank you for your time, and whatever you do, do not go to kink.com

Comments

Fataliix Day 3,034, 22:57

This seems like as good a thing as any to be doing at 5:40am

Hail Astrid Day 3,034, 23:23

but theres only one thing you do at 4:20am

Hail Astrid Day 3,034, 23:24

and thats sleep

Rob the Bruce Day 3,035, 04:09

hot damn

Korbain Day 3,035, 04:49

I see that once again the heterosexual vegetarian crowd has been slighted. Beware our florets for they are mighty.

Hail Astrid Day 3,035, 05:30

JOHN SAKARS

MS10EL Day 3,035, 15:37

This filled my market.

Sweet Drinker Day 3,035, 16:31

It is not necessary to have separate categories for heterosexual male & homosexual female.
#pornhubstatistics

AMD. Day 3,035, 17:05

you forgot the homoerogenous pumpkins dislike

Hail Astrid Day 3,035, 18:08

i'll pump ur kin in a fkin minute m8

jks will include such photographs in later issues

Oskar Schell Day 3,036, 00:57

Thank you for this. This helped me overcome my deep depression.

JiminyChristmas Day 3,036, 09:18

Thanks, now I'm confused about my sexuality - am I a heterosexual male, a homosexual female, or a vegetarian?

I'm billing you for my therapy sessions...

Select28 Day 3,036, 10:13

v + s

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