Another Theft...fml

Day 936, 18:27 • Published in Canada Canada • by Dade Pendwyn
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Canadian Conduit - Presidential Address #2

Yesterday the Canadian National Defense was compromised, and an estimated value of over 10,000 CAD was stolen, including over 3000 guns which are now being flooded onto the market.

Someone shoot me.

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Before you take out your pitchforks and scream "bloody insecurity", please hear me out. I can assure you every effort had been made by the current administration to keep our funds as-safe-as-freaking-possible. I changed the CND email and I am the only one with access to it, and Ramizeth, Chucky Norris, and myself were the only ones who had access to a complex password which was changed when I took office. So, let me backtrack and explain how we got to this point.

My first week as President started off on a rocky foot because there was no outgoing President to hand me the "keys" to the nation. Additionally, I inherited the problem of 2600 gold being inaccessible due to the previous administration losing the password and email, as well as the problem of two government orgs having their password changed before I took office. Thankfully, the last problem took care of itself as the person who took over the government orgs was not a sabateour so much as someone wanting to make an example of the previous administration for the benefit of future administrations. Of course, I had full intention of changing all government org passwords as soon as elected, but it further reinforced in me the notion that security is of utmost importance.

So, I spent the first week running around harrassing people and getting every single password for all government orgs, then ensuring that these passwords were changed and that only I and the minister in charge had these passwords. I am currently in the process of hunting down the previous email-owners of all the orgs so I can also change the emails of all these orgs. Obviously, I am borderline paranoid when it comes to the security of my government's organizations.

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And yet, here I am, announcing to eCanada that cash and guns have been stolen from the Canadian National Defense organization. There are only 3 ways this could have happene😛

Possibility 1: The money and guns were stolen by one of the three people who had access: Myself, Chucky Norris, and Ramizeth.

Chucky and Rami have both had access to fund pools much larger than this, and they have been trusted members of the government for months. They are 100% trustworthy andI would wager my first-born child against anyone who wanted to suggest that either one of them are responsible.

As for myself, I can reassure my citizens that I, too, had absolutely no part in this theft. If the people don't want to take me on my word, I'm more than willing to provide any information whatsoever, including screenshots or allowing somebody to remotely take over my computer and check anything on here that they wish. Frankly, I'm not willing to betray my country for 10,000 CAD (or any amount of money for that matter), and I'm disgusted, yet not surprised, that somebody did this.

You can rest assured that this money was not taken by myself, Chucky or Ramizeth.

Possibility 2: Somebody hacked directly into the account.

This is unlikely, due simply to the strength of the password, but certainly not impossible. As the only person who has access to the email to which the account is tied to, I can confirm that the email was not used to compromise the CND. However, it's certainly possible that somebody somehow directly hacked into the account. If this is the case, there's nothing we could have done or could do in the future to prevent this.

Possibility 3: Somebody hacked into a line of communication to steal the password.

This is the most plausible. It's likely that somebody could have hacked into a line of communication between either Chucky and myself or Chucky and Ramizeth and used the password to compromise the organization. The key then is to determine how this happened and who did it.

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This is a failure of security and I do apologize. However, please be certain that this failure was not due to lazy administration or a lack of consideration for the security of your government organizations. We have done everything possible to make sure nothing like this would happen, and yet it did anyway. I am, as I'm sure you can imagine, pissed.

And for those of you who think the sky is falling, rest assured that the amount of money taken was not catastrophic by any means. It works out that around 10% or less of the CAF's monthly budget was taken, so we won't be crippled in any respect by this. Several tickets have been opened with the admins but nobody is holding our breath that will get anything back. The real tragedy here is that somebody would be willing to put this much effort into trying to sabotage the country; the biggest hit will come to gun business owners who are finding the prices of guns plumetting as the thief releases the stolen guns onto the market.

On that note I would like to urge all eCanadians to avoid purchasing guns from the Ultimate Armoury company. The owner of this company and the Robotic Constructions org is the thief. Do not buy from this company no matter how low he makes his prices.

I have put every possible effort into improving the security of the administration, and yet this has happened anyway. Though I'm running out of ways to do so, I will continue to tighten security wherever possible. The eye is watching.

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On behalf of an exhaused an infuriated executive, I'm sorry.



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