Animal Rant: Dumbest Thoughts Yet (3/28/11)

Day 1,224, 12:57 • Published in USA USA • by Chutley
Animal Rant:

First of all, plurals of animal names piss me off. Goose -> geese, but moose -> moose? Mouse -> mice, but grouse -> grouses? Most importantly, why the hell can't I say fishes? Screw it, I'm going to say fishes.

How freaking stubborn are whales and dolphins? They can only live in water, but they won't shut up about being mammals. If I was a shark I'd be pissed.

Whales and dolphins are like the letter "Y" - 90% of the time they hang out with consonants, but every now and then they ditch them just so they can chill with the cool kids. If I was an "A" I'd give "Y" the business. I'd say, "Y," if you were a vowel, you wouldn't be worth 4 points in Scrabble.

They say dolphins can communicate with each other. I think a lot about what I would say if I was a dolphin. I haven't quite figured it out yet, but I'd totally constantly rip on all the fat zoologists in front of their faces. Any other ideas?

Lastly, are you aware that there are wholphins? Some real gross stuff had to go down in order to make one of those.




This was the dumbest edition yet. Even more reason for you to vote and subscribe. Also, check these two newspapers out. They're actually smart.

Gnilraps for politics: http://www.erepublik.com/en/newspaper/16-shells-220946/1

Liracy for free foo😛 http://www.erepublik.com/en/newspaper/liracy-s-logistics-253121/1

- Chutley